Dating a Daughter

Orkut one of the social networking site has played a very powerful role in my life. I never expected that it would make so much difference in my life. At the age of 40 it made me rethink about human relationship and also about Trust.

It all started in the year 2008. I was on orkut from 2006. I never showed any interest in it. I used it only to share my views with people who were already related to me. I never thought that orkut would bring someone so close to me in my life, that today i feel life to be somewhat empty without her.

2008 was the year I was expecting my third child. I wanted it to be a girl. I begged to every god to give me a daughter. Though everyone thinsk that my third child was accidental only me and my wife know that we purposefuly went careless and allowed to conceive a child. I had even planned to name my child as Radhe. meaning Radha bai the name of my grand mother

At the time in the middle of june, when my wife dates were near, I suddenly got a scrap by a person who had posted kolhapur Lakshmi photo in my scrap book. I was very much delighted to see the photo and it increased my confidence that i will surely have a girl baby. As i started scraping with that person i came to know that he is from an orthodox Madhwa brahmin family and belonged to the same mutt as ours. Actually he mistook that i am also very very orthodox. later he saw our activities and when he came to know that we are in animation business, he asked me to speak to her daughter who was in the final year of commercial art course. He wanted me to guide her in animation and 3D

Somewhere in June 2008 i first talked to this girl. By what her parents and relatives say she was a vey shy, fearing girl but i dont know she started talking to me very openly. I found her to be a very innocent girl with lot of talent and enthusiasm. Co-incidentaly her orkut account had the name of Radhe. Her date of birth was 4th July ( My child was born on 5th July). She was from a place which is our family god. All these factors made me develop a kind of strong bonding with her. I sent her my Training Materials on a DVD.

One fine day I received a courier with a Saree and prasadam from Kolhapur. That too on Friday. It was sent by that girl family as a token of gesture for me. I was very much delighted. At that time still my third child was not born and this boosted my confidence that i will surely have a girl baby.

Later when i was on a shoot at Mahindra World Cityin Chennai, I was inspecting crane shot and at that busy movement i received a call and when i took it i heard a sweet small girl's voice saying Uncle. Normally i would have cut the call and attended it later in that situation. but i coudldnt cut it. She politely told " Uncle nim DVD nam computer nage Play aagta illa" meaning my training DVD was not running on her machine. I told her i will come and explain it after coming to bangalore.

Later as i kept chating with her discussing about animation technologies, i was explaining her like a teacher and in fact whatever i told was already known by her. She still use to ask me and slowly one day she asked me can i send smses to you. I told Ok

She started smsing me and i can say the hindi messages she sent were the best i have ever recieved in my phone. However i saw a lot of pain in her messages. she was trying to say me something but couldnt say it.

Later she told me that she wants to use my company as the client for making her project on designing ads. I told yes. She designed very beautiful brochures, website samples, hoardings in my company name. I was astonished at ther talent.

Suddenly one day she told that they have got internet removed in their house due to some billing problems. She then asked can I come to see your studio to bangalore. I told her you are welcome. To my great surprise in november she suddenly arrived and I received her from the Yeshwanthpur Railway station.

Seeing her i never felt like she is some new girl to me. I felt like she is as close to me as achyutha anantha and my other kids. i brought her home. His father was very orthodox and hence my father arranged for his lunch in Raghavendra Swamy Mutt. Later she stayed in her house for about 4 days.

The main problem with her was she use to get very nervous to speak to anyone in our house and spoke closely only with me. This was because she had a lot of fear. She was in severe Depression. I could make it out within two days and i kept motivating her.

But the first problem started in our house. My mother mistook her closeness with me. She felt that there is some fishy. As a typical women of South Indian Brahmin family who are famous for feeling jealous on other women, she started pampering my wife. One day I took her with my children to ISKCON and by the time i was back, My wife also mistook me and i could not tolerate my wife behaviour. This was because i always believed that the person who has maximum faith in me in this world is my wife and when that got shattered i lost my mental balance. I dont know what happened, I consumed the cracker remains lead and fell ill. I was so severely affected by it that it took me two months to recover from it.

Later she left my place, but still she was in touch with me. She used to call me at every stage of her life. like when she attended an interview in pune, when she was preparing for her exams, like this she showed an immense trust in me. She believed that I am her best well wisher in this world. I was astonished at her trust on me.

Later in the month of may, after her exams she came back again into my life. This time she travelled alone with her relative and came to my house. She came to our house at a time when I was in immense tense as one of my army project had goen hayware and had got totally struck up. When she came i brought her home and just showed her the army project. she picked it up in few hours and started working on it.

However in our house i again had the same old problem. Fear between me and the girl relationship. Again i went totally upset when i smelt some kind of distrust in me by my own wife and mother. I got totally upset and decided to send her back without taking her help for the project. She left with her uncle. Later the problem escalated. I had already taken money of this army project and had even spent it away bur was unable to deliver the project. It went on to prove too costly for my reputation. When I got totally upset, my wife took initiative, spoke to the project fellows and found that i was in deep trouble. I should thank my wife for taking all out initiative and saw that the girl was back to bangalore within two days from Hubli.

She then stayed in our house for one month. She very cooly completed the project which i thought was totally impossible. In this one month period I understood what her real problem was. Some shocking moments in her childhood life had made her highly depressed and she was living her entire life in fear and agony. I motivated her, I studied all articles on her case in internet and like a psychatrist i stayed with her. and slowly she came back from all her traumas. Finally she left our home and went back on 26th June 2009.

After she left suddenly my entire life turned blank. I couldnt come back to my work. I just thought what is happeining to me. Then i realised, It is my God's gift to fulfil my wish. I loved to bring up a daughter and I always wanted a girl baby. I was totally disappointed that I couldnt get it. but still i kept wishing i will have a daughter. Inspired by the film secret, i kept wishing. And my wish was answered. I had a daughter readymade sent directly to my house. Her closeness with my children was in no way less than a real sister for them. I enjoyed all the emotions a father would feel when he deals with his daughter.

Now i sat down and analysed how could a strong person like me fall prey to such strong emotional bondage. I found that the fact behind this is trust. Our affection and our love to any person is directly proportional to the amount of faith they show on us. Greater the faith stronger will be our love. I learnt this great lesson from this episode that Trusting people makes us win there love. There might be some people who may misuse our trust but just because we have accidents we cannot stop driving. similarly fearing mistrust we cannot stop trusting people

To be very frank i now feel that my love towards this girl is overtaking my love towards my wife. The only way i can avoid this to happen is by making my wife trust me more. The more she trusts me the more will be my love towards her.

Luckily I have a great wife. She believes me. Though sometimes she gets carried away by other people sayings she very quickly comes back and holds on to her trust on me. Relationships stands on trust. It is not built by to whom you are born or in which part of the world you are born. If you win the trust of a person you will automatically start loving him.

Orkut thought me this great lesson. My life aim is to see that i does not lose the trust of that girl. Whatever people may say, my heart knows that how i see that simple rural girl. I sometimes ask god "Please make her distrust me so that i can forget her" I even tried to act or scold her to make her distrust me. But she is not at all shaken. She trusts me by heart. and until she keeps trusting me as her father i cannot stop loving her as my daughter.

The love of Daughter or Son does not come just by birth. It is dependent on how much they trust us. When my third son, starts crying loudly when someone takes away from my home, He strongly holds my fingers and his grip shows the trust he has in me and that makes me love him.

Now i Understand, Life stands on just two simple principles. The first Principle Show immense Trust in peopel around you that makes them love you. and the second the most Important keep up to the trust of the people who have it on you.

If these two principles are followed then i think we need not die and go to heaven and we can have it very much in our real life.