Jaanu Ajji - A Great Soul Lost Forever

11th July 2009 Night 11-30 PM. A Phone call brought an end to a four year suffering. It said that after suffering for about 4 - 5 years by bed souring, My Grand Mother ie My Mother's mother Janaki alias Jaanu had expired. The news of death brought smiles on all the members of our family as it gave a much longed relief both to the ailing Jaanu and also for the family that was looking after her. Death was welcomed with a smile.

Next day Morning Myself with my brother and parents rushed to Mysore. The complete Sosale famly to which my mother belonged assembled before 10 AM. From 11 AM the ceremony started and by Three it ended with setting fire to the pyre of my grand mother. Greatly relieved we all walked back home had a bath, and then our lunch.

Through out the ceremony, we cracked jokes, spoke openly and had a great time. There were more smiles on people faces than the tears. The reason was the suffering my Grand mother had undergone. A severe trauma from five years. she had been physically dead long before with just hart beat functioning. After a long suffering she had finally seen the Moksha and this had converted her death into a kind of happy moment for the entire family

Later after finishing the ceremony we left from Mysore back to Bangalore in the 5 PM Bus. During the travel time, i just recalled my association with great soul Jaanamma.

Janaki Bai was the fourth daughter to their parents out of the seven. She was the most beautiful in their whole family. She was the most charming girl of the entire T-Narsipur Town where she was born.

Most women agree with one fact that being too beautiful is not a boon but actually a curse. It creates a fear in the minds of parents when other appreciate their daughter, It increases possesiveness of the husband towards the wife and all these creates a huge mental torture in the minds of an orthodox good looking girl. My grand mother has suffered from it. The treasure of too much beauty was taken up as a huge burden by their parents and they wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.

So in a sense of urgency, she was given to My Grand Father Venkatanarasimhachar, A powerful member of Sosale Vyasaraja Mutt at that time. My Grand Mother was his second wife (Some say it was third). After marriage, beauty turned my grand mother into a beast. She had six children. The first four were girls. As it is in our Orthodox Shastra a man does not get entry into heaven until he has a son. This forced my grand mother to go through six deliveries. After four girls two male children were born.

It was a sigh of relief for my grand mother. She thought at last she had fulfilled her husband wish to go to heaven. But unfortunately it happened very early. Still the children were kids, and my Grand father passed away leaving six children in the hands of a women whose life had thought her nothing except delivering a child.

The days of suffering started for my grand mother. With six children that too four girls in hand she went to the door steps of every relation. My Grand father believed that If we do good to God he will take care of us. With that intention he wrote all his property to the name of Sosale Vyasaraja mutt. The mutt people very cleverly wooed him and my grand father always thought about how he can achieve moksha and never thought about how his children can live in this world. This brought the entire family to the streets and from this my grand father might have gone to moksha in the eternal world.

With the help from her mother side, and from her brothers My grand mother managed to bring up the six kids. With great difficulty she completed the wedding of her first Daughter, Saraswathi. Luckily their husband could understand the difficulty of my grand mother and he helped in bringing up the other kids. He took initiative in getting the second daughter my mother married to my father.

However good the first son-in-law may be there was a kind of guilt in my grand mother's mind. She felt she had become a burden to everyone in this world. It is said that some even wanted her to enter into sati after her husband died, but due to her brothers bold steps she survived to look after the six kids.

By nature and Circumstances made my grand mother seee the world as a pessimist. she saw only problems in every solution. She always try to find the fault in people rather than the good deeds they were doing. This created huge problems in her life. She lost support of family members at the key points of her life. In fact as a kid, i did not attend my mother's brother marriage because of rift in my grand mother and my father. The main reason behind this rift was the pessimistic attitude of my grand mother.

However she successfully got all her four daughters married to four good families. Even his son got a good job and he was married. Luckily her son Mr. Gopinath got an angel as his wife. His wife treated my Grand mother virtually as her mother. Through out my grand mother life the person who supported her for maximum period was this great lady. In her last days, when she was bed souring, it was this lady who took care of my grand mother like a small child. She wiped all her wastes like a mother does for a small child. She never grumbled and till death she stood by the side of my grand mother.

When it comes to my relatiosnhip with my grand mother it started with my birth. When I was born, My mother's complete post pregnancy care was taken care by my grand mother. The first person in this world who washed me was my grand mother. She use to give me a very caring and loving bath when i was just a few days kid.

Actually my nose was flat. So they say my grand mother everyday before bath, patiently sat for about an hour and massaged my nose and body. Today everyone says the only best part on my face is nose and the credit for this should go to this grand mother.

In my younger days i was very adamant. Whenever i was not obeying my father, i use to get proper beatings and when everyone in the house were pointing fingers at me and were scolding, one soul is to bring its hand over my head and use to say, dont worry i am with you. This soul was my Grand mother. She always loved me, To be very frank when I reached the teenage, she brought my first girl into my life. She was responsible for that girl like me and motivate me in life. She had boosted me so much in front of that girl that she always thought that i was the best person in this universe. I got a good Girl friend because of my grand mother. Even she wanted me to be married to another girl. She always use to say you are the right husband for her. By this way even in my youthful days she helped build my dreams and my love life.

She was highly practical. She believed that in this world no one does anything without any return expectations. Sometimes she used to wrongly judge the returns people would expect when someone came to help her. By this attitude she was criticized by many. But life had made her think life as give and take policy.

Through out the journey i remembered this great soul. She had lived for 102 Years. Her past five six years were miserable. But she had led a life of 90 years dedicated to the service of her children and grand children. But we forgot those 90 years and remembered just the last 6 - 7 years and always felt she is a burden to everyone. I myself had spoken with that attitude. That makes me feel how mutlabi we are in this world. I really feel greatly bad when i feel that for a women who gave my first bath, who gave my first kiss, who gave me my first love, I in return gave nothing but just a homage in front of her body after she passed away. Well I now understand that the punishment to this attitude will be mooted to me after around 30 - 40 years and at that time i should remember and take up life as a reality fact that is the exact replica of what I had done a few decades ago.

Dating a Daughter

Orkut one of the social networking site has played a very powerful role in my life. I never expected that it would make so much difference in my life. At the age of 40 it made me rethink about human relationship and also about Trust.

It all started in the year 2008. I was on orkut from 2006. I never showed any interest in it. I used it only to share my views with people who were already related to me. I never thought that orkut would bring someone so close to me in my life, that today i feel life to be somewhat empty without her.

2008 was the year I was expecting my third child. I wanted it to be a girl. I begged to every god to give me a daughter. Though everyone thinsk that my third child was accidental only me and my wife know that we purposefuly went careless and allowed to conceive a child. I had even planned to name my child as Radhe. meaning Radha bai the name of my grand mother

At the time in the middle of june, when my wife dates were near, I suddenly got a scrap by a person who had posted kolhapur Lakshmi photo in my scrap book. I was very much delighted to see the photo and it increased my confidence that i will surely have a girl baby. As i started scraping with that person i came to know that he is from an orthodox Madhwa brahmin family and belonged to the same mutt as ours. Actually he mistook that i am also very very orthodox. later he saw our activities and when he came to know that we are in animation business, he asked me to speak to her daughter who was in the final year of commercial art course. He wanted me to guide her in animation and 3D

Somewhere in June 2008 i first talked to this girl. By what her parents and relatives say she was a vey shy, fearing girl but i dont know she started talking to me very openly. I found her to be a very innocent girl with lot of talent and enthusiasm. Co-incidentaly her orkut account had the name of Radhe. Her date of birth was 4th July ( My child was born on 5th July). She was from a place which is our family god. All these factors made me develop a kind of strong bonding with her. I sent her my Training Materials on a DVD.

One fine day I received a courier with a Saree and prasadam from Kolhapur. That too on Friday. It was sent by that girl family as a token of gesture for me. I was very much delighted. At that time still my third child was not born and this boosted my confidence that i will surely have a girl baby.

Later when i was on a shoot at Mahindra World Cityin Chennai, I was inspecting crane shot and at that busy movement i received a call and when i took it i heard a sweet small girl's voice saying Uncle. Normally i would have cut the call and attended it later in that situation. but i coudldnt cut it. She politely told " Uncle nim DVD nam computer nage Play aagta illa" meaning my training DVD was not running on her machine. I told her i will come and explain it after coming to bangalore.

Later as i kept chating with her discussing about animation technologies, i was explaining her like a teacher and in fact whatever i told was already known by her. She still use to ask me and slowly one day she asked me can i send smses to you. I told Ok

She started smsing me and i can say the hindi messages she sent were the best i have ever recieved in my phone. However i saw a lot of pain in her messages. she was trying to say me something but couldnt say it.

Later she told me that she wants to use my company as the client for making her project on designing ads. I told yes. She designed very beautiful brochures, website samples, hoardings in my company name. I was astonished at ther talent.

Suddenly one day she told that they have got internet removed in their house due to some billing problems. She then asked can I come to see your studio to bangalore. I told her you are welcome. To my great surprise in november she suddenly arrived and I received her from the Yeshwanthpur Railway station.

Seeing her i never felt like she is some new girl to me. I felt like she is as close to me as achyutha anantha and my other kids. i brought her home. His father was very orthodox and hence my father arranged for his lunch in Raghavendra Swamy Mutt. Later she stayed in her house for about 4 days.

The main problem with her was she use to get very nervous to speak to anyone in our house and spoke closely only with me. This was because she had a lot of fear. She was in severe Depression. I could make it out within two days and i kept motivating her.

But the first problem started in our house. My mother mistook her closeness with me. She felt that there is some fishy. As a typical women of South Indian Brahmin family who are famous for feeling jealous on other women, she started pampering my wife. One day I took her with my children to ISKCON and by the time i was back, My wife also mistook me and i could not tolerate my wife behaviour. This was because i always believed that the person who has maximum faith in me in this world is my wife and when that got shattered i lost my mental balance. I dont know what happened, I consumed the cracker remains lead and fell ill. I was so severely affected by it that it took me two months to recover from it.

Later she left my place, but still she was in touch with me. She used to call me at every stage of her life. like when she attended an interview in pune, when she was preparing for her exams, like this she showed an immense trust in me. She believed that I am her best well wisher in this world. I was astonished at her trust on me.

Later in the month of may, after her exams she came back again into my life. This time she travelled alone with her relative and came to my house. She came to our house at a time when I was in immense tense as one of my army project had goen hayware and had got totally struck up. When she came i brought her home and just showed her the army project. she picked it up in few hours and started working on it.

However in our house i again had the same old problem. Fear between me and the girl relationship. Again i went totally upset when i smelt some kind of distrust in me by my own wife and mother. I got totally upset and decided to send her back without taking her help for the project. She left with her uncle. Later the problem escalated. I had already taken money of this army project and had even spent it away bur was unable to deliver the project. It went on to prove too costly for my reputation. When I got totally upset, my wife took initiative, spoke to the project fellows and found that i was in deep trouble. I should thank my wife for taking all out initiative and saw that the girl was back to bangalore within two days from Hubli.

She then stayed in our house for one month. She very cooly completed the project which i thought was totally impossible. In this one month period I understood what her real problem was. Some shocking moments in her childhood life had made her highly depressed and she was living her entire life in fear and agony. I motivated her, I studied all articles on her case in internet and like a psychatrist i stayed with her. and slowly she came back from all her traumas. Finally she left our home and went back on 26th June 2009.

After she left suddenly my entire life turned blank. I couldnt come back to my work. I just thought what is happeining to me. Then i realised, It is my God's gift to fulfil my wish. I loved to bring up a daughter and I always wanted a girl baby. I was totally disappointed that I couldnt get it. but still i kept wishing i will have a daughter. Inspired by the film secret, i kept wishing. And my wish was answered. I had a daughter readymade sent directly to my house. Her closeness with my children was in no way less than a real sister for them. I enjoyed all the emotions a father would feel when he deals with his daughter.

Now i sat down and analysed how could a strong person like me fall prey to such strong emotional bondage. I found that the fact behind this is trust. Our affection and our love to any person is directly proportional to the amount of faith they show on us. Greater the faith stronger will be our love. I learnt this great lesson from this episode that Trusting people makes us win there love. There might be some people who may misuse our trust but just because we have accidents we cannot stop driving. similarly fearing mistrust we cannot stop trusting people

To be very frank i now feel that my love towards this girl is overtaking my love towards my wife. The only way i can avoid this to happen is by making my wife trust me more. The more she trusts me the more will be my love towards her.

Luckily I have a great wife. She believes me. Though sometimes she gets carried away by other people sayings she very quickly comes back and holds on to her trust on me. Relationships stands on trust. It is not built by to whom you are born or in which part of the world you are born. If you win the trust of a person you will automatically start loving him.

Orkut thought me this great lesson. My life aim is to see that i does not lose the trust of that girl. Whatever people may say, my heart knows that how i see that simple rural girl. I sometimes ask god "Please make her distrust me so that i can forget her" I even tried to act or scold her to make her distrust me. But she is not at all shaken. She trusts me by heart. and until she keeps trusting me as her father i cannot stop loving her as my daughter.

The love of Daughter or Son does not come just by birth. It is dependent on how much they trust us. When my third son, starts crying loudly when someone takes away from my home, He strongly holds my fingers and his grip shows the trust he has in me and that makes me love him.

Now i Understand, Life stands on just two simple principles. The first Principle Show immense Trust in peopel around you that makes them love you. and the second the most Important keep up to the trust of the people who have it on you.

If these two principles are followed then i think we need not die and go to heaven and we can have it very much in our real life.

Google means God . . .

What is God ? Well i think everyone will agree that God is one system of faith, which we think is going to provide answers to all our querries and problems in life. We all firmly believe that God means truth, the real truth which has no chance of any manipulations in its system.

I still remember in my younger days, when we had to decide about any important decisions in life, my mother used to write down the decisions in paper, put it in front of god, and after a pooja, we used to get it picked by a child and follow that result with no second opinion.  We believed that if this is coming from god, then it should be right.

Today when we face the same situation, we now have a new god to answer our querries. It may be about buying a car or starting a new business, we now decide by placing our querry in front of a new god. This god we use is google. very simple, today, we just go to google, type in our new venture and see the results, say I want to buy a car swift, type car name swift followed by review, read it and then decide that yes this is really worth to buy. We have so much faith in this system that we never again go for a second opinion. If google provides a answer to our querry, then we firmly believe that it should be really really right.  Now can we not call google to be a God.

The greatest asset that google company has won from its customer today i think is faith. People believe in google. They think that google is truth. Even while choosing email accounts the first and most safest mailing system people feel is google mail or gmail. We always see that anything that is ranked number one by google in their search querry, then they should be the number one. Till today, this faith has never failed except in a few very very rare cases.

Take for example. Once when I had been to Mahindra World city in chennai, we found a few apartments there very beautiful and to have a reference I took the photograph of an apartment from outside. The man immediately rushed out and shouted at me saying that I have no right to take his house picture. Later on he did not leave me till i deleted it. But I came back home, launched Google earth and when I browsed to the same mahindra world city, I could see that apartment very clearly with complete view of its ambience. Then I felt very strange. A known man in front of your eyes takes a picture of your house and we grumble. But we have an unknown system sitting somewhere in space, it takes the images of our houses and provides it to everyone and in this case we will feel very proud to see that our location is on google earth. This is what i call faith. We believe Google is something which is the safest. No one can deny this fact that today, people may doubt about God, or his religious faith, but he will never doubt google.

But for how many days, google can handle this immense faith people have in it. I sometimes fear what happens if larry page, turns out to be someone like Ramalinga Raju. Everyone telugu speaking man in this world felt that if one man can make them proud in this world, that would be ramalinga raju. They showed immense faith in him. Even he was very good. But somewhere at sometime down the line, Greed and bad thoughts made its way into Raju and today he has made every teluguite feel ashamed. Now how can we say that the same thoughts may not hit google rulers. What happens if Google owners or its promoters do some grave mistake and lead to the death or closure of this gigantic company ? 

We are so much dependent on this one system called google that we never know the catastophe we may have to face, if something happens to it. Recently Google mail stopped working for just 15 minutes and created a huge panic all over the globe. In my business, If I dont have food, i can live a day, If I dont have water I can live without bath, We even lived without toilets for two days when our house was under renovation. But if we dont have internet one day, then we are finished. and the only thing that affects without internet is that we cant use google. Whenever my son asks me any difficult question, I say him very confidently that I will get him answer in ten minutes. I just sit on my system, google the question and get him the answer. I have so  much faith that not even in the remote corner of my mind, i will have a doubt that whether i will get the anser. So much is our faith in google. 

Now comes the greatest fear of my life. What happens if google collapses. Just like Lehman Brothers, Bank of America or like Madoff, if google gets shut down, then our lives will not be the same anymore. We have to very seriously think about it. Sometimes we feel Google has become so much integral part of society that it is no more a business establhishment but a Consotorium meant to serve people. like we world wide web consotorium Google should be converted from a corporate business house to a consotorium.  It can no more be controlled by a bunch of share holders but it has to be controlled by a Government or a Non profit organizaion with social relevance.

Take the example of God. The famous Tirumala temple in Andhra Pradesh was actuallly belonging to a particular Iyengar community who were running it as their own property. But as Lord Venkateshware became famous, his popularity grew leap and bounds and when millions started to visit this temple then everyone felt its not safe to live this temple in the hands of a small family or community. What happens if there is a fight inside this family, they file a case, and temporarily close down venkateshwara temple for a few days, It creates panic in human faith. Knowing this very well, The government took over this temple and has appointed a non profit organization called TTD to run this temple

Now I feel even in case of Google this must happen. The problem with google is it has no nationality, It has no religion, It has no social boundaries. Hence it is very very difficult to govern it. The only solution is to turn it into a consotorium like World wide web or IEEE. This has to be done fast. Or otherwise one day we might face the worst ever attack on our faith. 

The Dilemma of whether God is there to serve Mankind or Man is there to serve God

God and Religion. Being from an orthodox Hindu Brahmin family and son of a Temple Trustee and religious man, I was very religious and God fearing in my younger days till recently when I changed. The reason for my change I feel is an internal enlightenment while my mother feels is because I have become more materialistic. Well to understand it I recently went through a very beautiful story.

A small child was standing and playing near its house gate and soon the child saw a beautiful puppy on the street. The child liked the puppy very much. It called the puppy, and the puppy seeing the child tried to run towards her. unfortunately at that time a fast moving bike hit the puppy on the road, and the puppy was severely injured. The child immediately started crying very loudly. It couldn't bear the puppy's loss. There parents rushed and tried to convince her but it was in vain. The dog stopped breathing and everyone felt it is dead. But they couldn't express it to the child as it was very much in love with the puppy. The intelligent father came out with an idea. 

He called the child and told, "My dear daughter, The puppy was seen by god and he also loved it very much. that is the reason why the puppy died and reached the god. But now let us send it near god with full respect. let us arrange a very grand funeral for the puppy. Let us make a beautiful coffin box, then fix it over a wheel, tie it to our car and let us take it in procession and bury it in the nearby graveyard. "

Saying so the father asked the daughter to make one beautiful coffin. The daughter's attention turned from the puppy towards making the coffin. she brought cardboards, color papers, flowers and with full passion she built a beautiful coffin. Father told the child that let us take the procession by afternoon 3 0 click and the child was eagerly waiting for three to carry out the procession.

During that time a miracle happened. The puppy which was assumed to be dead, slowly started to breathe and painfully opened its eyes. seeing it the father was very happy. He called his daughter and told " Look my child God heard your prayers and now he has sent it back for you. It is turning out to be alive, let us treat it and save it"

The Daughter then asked the father "papa then what about my beautiful coffin, i prepared it with so much interest ?" Father told "let us throw it away now as the dog is alive " The child got angry and told " No no dad, i have taken so much time in making the coffin, so let us kill the dog and take it for procession"

hearing these words the father was shocked. He felt very bad. He understood that in his attempt to convince her daughter he had drawn her concentration from caretaking and loving attitude to the passion of building a coffin. In the process the child had lost her love for the dog and started loving the coffin she had built. 

It is the same experience that I felt with religion and God. I think Religions and culture were born to serve the mankind.  It acted as a catalyst to boost the people who are in trouble. The main purpose of the religion was to convince the crying babies and motivate to do something to overcome the pains and miseries in life.

But over a period of time, Religion was no more meant to serve people but a wrong conception that people are meant to serve for religion came up. Like the coffin built by the child, a very strong and passionate religion and culture were built whose purpose was that it should survive no matter even it means taking the life of the dog. This type of experiences in life really changed me a lot. I always loved to eat in my Mom's plate but after my upanayanam I was asked to never even touch anything that is smelt by my mother. My brother and me use to share food and chats in the same plate but our upanayanam created a difference in us that we should not touch one's plate with another. However we did not obey those laws. Till recently when water is served during dinner, if achyutha my son drinks water in one tumbler then my othe son and my brother's son without any hezitation use to drink it in same tumbler. But after Upanayanam when we told them not to drink in other's tumbler we see war and fights on the dinner table between our children just because unknowingly one has drank in the tumbler meant for the other. 

My too much religioustic and orthodox creates differences between humans. This was my experience in life. On an Ekadashi day, if any of my friend offers me a sweet with great love, I cannot outrightly reject it. I feel by doing so I am insulting his affection towards me. I personally feel our determination to stand by my religion has to shown in my actions and attitudes and not in merely the food I eat and the dress I wear. By Experience I have seen that starving on Ekadashi, or avoiding onion or not taking food in night are the principles which are very easy to follow. It's very easy for me to change my dress to a white dhoti and shalya and go to my temple but its very difficult for me to go to temple changing my temperment when I am angry. 

Hence I personally feel for me religion means showing my sincere respect to my ancestors and my great grandfathers in whom generation I am lucky to be born. Rejecting something which my father has brought for me from hotel saying that I dont eat on monday's Is a greater insult I do to my religion. It is an immense level of selfishness. Just to fulfil my commitments I am hurting someone else feelings.

These things changed me a Lot. If required I can fast full day. I can stay without onion for months together I have no problem. But to keep up my religious diet, If I refuse to eat food offered by someone with love then I feel it is a shame to my religion. Hence I have now turned myself as a Nastik for outside world but internally I feel that I am a better Astika than before. Luckily My wife understands that and also my family. Hence I have no problem with the world even if they call me a Nastik

Value of Life

24th December 2007 Morning I was as usual working on my computer and suddenly I saw my wife running and coming to me in total shock and despair. Seeing her I asked her what had happened ?Crying she opened her hands and I saw the pregnancy test strip in her hand showing two bands on it. I asked her what is it? Crying she replied I have conceived. 

 

Well you might be surprised why a wife has to cry for happy news of Conceiving. The problem was we already had two males and were happily enjoying with the other two of my brother. With already four children in the house, it was very shocking news. For a movement I got tensed. Being married from ten years we led our first six seven years as a mere compromise husband and wife and our relationship had just flourished well from past two three years and this was surely a result of it.

 

I was taken aback a little at this news, but my wife immediately consoled me that don’t worry, its just 35 days and it can be got removed very easily. She along with my brother’s wife immediately rushed to the Shoba Hospital. After waiting for three long hours the doctor there told them not to worry it’s just a 20 minutes process in which the embryo can be just pulled out using a sucking tube. 

 

However that day as there was too many patients they asked my wife to come and get the foetus removed on 26th December as the next day 25th December was a holiday

 

She came home and told me not to be very much worried and hearing it I also had a sigh of relief. In our house my parents, my brother and his wife, all of us just ignored this matter and decided to get it removed on 26th.

 

In between on 25th December something Unusual happened. As it was a holiday we all thought of having a outing and decided to go out for a movie. Welcome and Taare Zameen Par were the two choices we had. Somehow we thought of having a try on Taare Zameen par and even my sister's family joined the movie. We all booked the ticket through eticket from vijayanagar, and rushed to Abhinay Theatre. While Welcome film was running for block at Tribhuvan, Abhinay theatre had very average turnout and we all were little sceptic about how the movie would be. Later we sat in Abhinay together in one row with 15 members and by the time the movie was over there was a sudden change of attitude in all of us.

 

While driving back home, My father just told me, getting the foetus sucked is very easy, but just have a thought whether is it absolutely necessary. Then I just was memorising the song, "Main kabhi batlaata nahin par andhere se darta hoon main Maa" then my brother as a joke told me to imagine the foetus inside my wife's child as darsheel and think about the song, Main batlata nahin. 

 

Well when I just imagined my baby inside my wife womb, singing Marin kabhi batlata nahin, par abortoin se darta hoon main ma, Yu to main Diklata Nahin teri parwah karta hoon main Ma" tears rolled over my eyes. As soon as I came home, I took my wife on upstairs and we both heard that song for atleast 7 to 8 times, and suddenly we realized is it not a killing that we are doing ?

 

The next Morning, My father placed before us a beautiful option. We were planning to go for a Maruthi Swift Car costing around 5.1 Lakhs and has also had it checked at Yeshwantpur RNS Motors Showroom. My father told If we insist to go on car, then get the foetus removed or if we are going ahead with the foetus then lets drop the idea of going for Maruthi Swift. This economic burden can then be transfered on to bringing up the new child.

 

This triggered a new wave of thinking in all of us. Well the 5 Lakh Maruthi Swift a Man made Machine brings us a more powerful status and prestige in the society, but dropping it and going in for a third child will actually make us feel inferior in this society. as we would be the only one who would be having three children in our entire relations and friends circle with respect to our generation.

 

But the other question was is a Swift car is more worthwhile than a human life. We would pay an EMI of Rs.7000 per month for the new car for a period of about eight years, and if we drop the car now this EMI can be used as money for bringing up the third child. Swift or a child, the dilemma was hitting our heads. Later in my family everyone agreed that this decision is left to me and I have to decide and everyone would abide by what I would decide.

 

It was one of the toughest movements in my life. My wife told that she would sincerely abide by my decision. She was telling she had no interest in the third child but when she was saying that we could see her eyes wet showing her concern about her new sibling.

 

After a long thought I made up a firm decision. I announced the very next day that I would go for the baby rather than the swift car. I called the three elderly children achyutha, anantha and keshava, I told them you all like to have a car like my sister, but for that we have to sacrifice a new baby in Pankaja's womb. Or if we opt for the baby then they should forget the idea of a new car.

 

To my surprise all the three Told me “No dont get the child removed we want this child”.  I told them A new child means you will have a new competitor, for all your toys and you have to share everything with one more guy. Then both my children and my brother's son told they would not mind anything in sharing with the new child and they wanted it very badly. They all especially my elder son achyutha insisted to get the child. He even threatened that he would not concentrate on his studies if I get the child removed.

 

Hearing these sweet words I was very much convinced. Later my brother, my brother wife, My Mom, Dad everyone said they welcomed my decision.  I really felt very great to be born in this family and really felt very proud about the sacrifices that each one is going to make to get my foetus out as a living creature on this universe.

 

My wife first argued a lot. She discussed this matter with most of the people and around 80% of them suggested her to get it removed. Amidst of it, she obeyed my words. She told whatever may happen I will go ahead and deliver this baby.

 

She courageously faced the world during the next nine months and this brought a great transformation in her. She learnt the art of how to live for our self and for people who believe in us rather than living the life to please the outside world. 

 

On August14th finally the foetus that was supposed to be sucked by a tube, came out to the world as a new human being. It was a new life, a new creature on this universe. My mother who is old and aged, didn't care about her health and just stood by the side of my wife during her post pregnancy period. My brother's wife took all the care sacrificing everything just for the sake of this newly born child. Even my Wife's sisters and brothers and there families, My sister family, her daughter’s family provided very good support and we now have a happy family and one latest addition has now proved that its not a burden but an addition to our happiness.

 

This also increased my commitment level towards my family. I felt very very proud for my family, my parents and especially my brother and his wife. I  decided that I can never compensate the amount of sacrifice my family members made towards me and only way I can show some respect to them is through  my commitment for them. This added a new zeal in me and has made me more young and active at the age of 40.

 

All these changes happened due to one turning point. It was because of just three hours we spent in abhinay theatre watching a movie made by a Muslim . We are a staunch Orthodox Hindu family but our respect towards Muslim community rose from leap and bounds when we saw how one Muslim Aamir Khan changed our attitude and led to the birth of a new life on this universe. Shahrukh Khan says Films are meant just for entertainment but in my case, films were not meant for just entertainment but its sometimes even changes people's life. My case is a strong proof for this argument.

 

Man made Swift was sacrificed for God made life. Today we all feel that we are many many times happier with the new child than we would had been with the swift car. Yes Life has the greatest value and Happiness lies in our attitude to give value for every life in this universe.   I now strongly feel that God Made Materials should be valued Greater than Man made Materials

 

 

More Comfort means less Freedom

A Maruthi Van of 1998 Model in our house was the only luxury that my children were enjoying in their life. Whenever a latest Swift, Santro or accent zipped by the side of our age old van, I could see the passion for it in the eyes of my children. Seeing it me and my brother use to feel very sad and also had a dream to change our vehicle to some latest model with more comfort. 

Meanwhile, my Sister brought a new santro and since we are a close knit family, it meant to be a vehicle of our family. So my children were very happy that they could now travel in the new santro fuly loaded with all the features. The D day arrived and with full zeal my two children and my brother children were very eager to sit in this new vehicle.

My sister arrived in her new car, and immediately all my children rushed and ran across the vehicle enjoying its color and ambience. then it was time to take them on a drive. As soon as my sister opened the door, the children just jumped over the seats the way similar to what they use to do with our maruthi, due to the force, one of the knots of her seat cover just came off, and seeing it we all were shocked. Though my sister didnt tell anything, we ourself felt very bad, that the children's very first entry into the vehicle meant a damage to it.

Then we just asked all our children to get down, and in the anger I just smashed on the face of y brother's son anantha who is the most hyperactive of all. Seeing it the face of all my children turned very pale, they were then told that  they should not touch any item nor should move too much from their position in the seat. they all agreed.

We all sat inside and my sister asked achyutha to close the door, as a habit he pulled the door very hardly and with a big bang the door got closed. Everyone in the car were shaken. I got very irritated and just asked achyutha to get out of the vehicle. He asked sorry to everyone and promised he would never ever close the door in that way in future.

Then we went on a ride and through out the ride the children were very silent. they were afraid even to speak. they all very politely obeyed our words and behaved as a disciplined soldiers. Later on from that day my children always loved to travel in our age old Maruthi rather than the new highly loaded santro. Only when taken individually they liked to travel in santro and when they are taken together they all loved to travel in Maruthi.

This initiated a new feeling in me that our thirst for greater comfort in life drives us towards lesser freedom.  I could see that my children use to enjoy Maruthi van drive more than the santro because there we had put lot of restrictions on their actions. Its not just the case of a car. When we watch a film in our nearby Prasanna, Pramod or Veeresh theatre, my children shout, dance and even move around in the hall freely. they enjoy a movie to its peak.  However when we take them to PVR or INOX, we force a lot of restrictions on them. We feel embraced when our children shout, or move around in a theatre of that callibre. 

Adding to this is the latest security checks at bigger malls. the way our vehicles are scanned, we are subjected to manual checks and once my son asked when the theater owners does not trust why should we pay more and go to there malls. 

This makes me feel that the more comfort we try to acquire in life the more freedom we lose in our life. People may think this as a poor middle class mentality. but we enjoy the most when we travel in the least comfortable train rather than in a volvo or flight due to sheer freedom we enjoy in trains. When we are alone, comfort does matter and we can compromise with freedom. but as a family that too with a joint family sized with 11 members we always feel that the lesser the comfor we opt the greater the freeedom we enjoy.