THE GREATEST HEIST IN INDIAN HISTORY..HOW INDIAN
HISTORY WAS CHANGED AND WE DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE. PART 1:THE LOST EON 6TH CENTURY
B.C TO 1174 A.D
Remember those long-staying,
TV-remote hogging, serial TV-serial watching distant relatives who used to
arrive unannounced when you were a kid. And then stopped you from watching
cricket in favour of their crappy TV serial. What were your feelings towards them?
Whatever it was, it did not resemble love and affection. Now replace
those crummy, intractable relatives of yore with your school subject of History
or Social Sciences. Weren’t your feelings towards History kinda similar? I
stake all the contents of my nearly empty wallet, that at least for the
most of you, it was.
However, There is one thing that tops the 'I hate' list by a distance
History for most of us, was always a
major impediment, an obstacle, an immovable object opposing our unstoppable drive
towards knowledge ( Read Maths and Science). Useless questions like ‘how
does Babar’s fun and frolic in 1476 affect my future’ were raised, without an
iota of hope for a definite answer. What we used to get was a growl or a
scowl or perhaps both. What we could only do was utter the choicest expletives
under our breath, memorize those never ending dates and practice our artistic
talents on the unfortunate photographs of the great souls printed in our
textbooks.
How will this dead dude help me get ahead in my life?
In our academic pecking order, Maths
and Science always figured at the top, subjects that we had to master.
History mostly figured somewhere at the bottom of this list, lower than
drawing, craft, value education and even Aayo Naga perhaps. Has our monumental
indifference towards History enabled our educationists and academicians to
disfigure, hell mutilate..our own history and actually get away with it?
Let me begin this by recalling a
small conversation with a tenth grader relative of mine
This is India’s history from that
persons point of view
1.
Harappans were the first people in
India, and they had a fetish for building abnormally large bath-tubs.
2.
Their asses were then kicked by the
some unknown invading Aryans.
3.
Somewhere down the line, Alexander
and his badass gang of Greeks came calling.
4.
Chandragupta Maurya with his adviser
Chanakya, did some awesome 420giri to take over from the Greeks.
5.
They were then succeeded by the
Guptas who brought the ‘Golden Age’ with them.
6.
Mahmud of Ghazni, however, looted all
that gold. He needed a sum total of 17 visits to complete his gold quest.
7.
Mohammad Ghauri followed him with
similar intentions, but decided to avoid the trouble and simply stay back. And
then he died.
8.
He left his slave Qutub-ud-din Aibak
to do all the ruling. His most significant achievement was to build one
pointless tower.
9.
Then came a Muslim queen, underlining
our credentials in female liberation.
10.
It was then the turn of Tughlaq and
his gang of idiots. They moved national capitals around because they hated the
weather.
11.
From somewhere, Babar, a descendant
of a lame, one eyed king from Central Asia landed in India.
12.
He and his sons, calling themselves
Mughals, ruled India for the next 350 years.
13.
Their party came to an end when
Englishmen arrived, redcoats and all, and took a strong fancy to our country.
I am not
making the above stuff up. Of course, I might have taken liberties with some of
the descriptions, but then this was more-or-less what a tenth grader summarized
about pre-British Indian history. I would have appreciated this individuals
grasp of Indian history if not for the fact that this version is completely and
utterly bullshit.
Yes IT IS
Peruse that list again, in case you
did not read it carefully. Till the advent of the British, how many Indian
emperors, kings have been mentioned in the above list? How many of them have
been highlighted and glorified in our history despite some seriously awesome
stuff they did? Has our History been modified to such an extent that our own ancestors
have been left out of out of it?
The one word answer to the last question: YES
If you see, India is one of the very
few countries to have a civilization which goes back to about 3000 BC. No other
country has this big a history. To put it in perspective, India’s last golden
age was in the 6th century BC. Wonder what were the others in the world doing
at that time……….
The Angrez
No comments!!
Americans
America...What the hell is that?
We are a civilization that was so
advanced, that we were actually celebrating our golden age when Brits still
hadn’t figured out what ”Being Clothed’ meant and the Americans could have been
the name of an opium brand. So isn’t it kinda surprising that only two Indian
emperors were considered to be worth remembering by a tenth grader in an eon or
so? Would have been humorous, if it wasn’t our civilization. And because it is,
it becomes deeply distressing and disturbing.
The Gupta dynasty as a dynasty, ended
in about 6th century AD. However, the last meaningful king that our History
textbooks bother to mention is Chandragupta II, whose reign ended in 4th
Century AD. And then, the scene is fast forwarded to the point where Mohammad
Ghauri invaded India in 1191, to start the Delhi Sultanate which would then
metamorphose into the Islamic Empire. What does the above line tell you?
It tells you that an average tenth
grader actually knows nothing about what happened in India in the intervening
period between the Guptas and the Delhi Sultanate (A time period of about 800
years). At least they do not think it was worth remembering. To be fair they
are not to blame, especially when you consider our academicians have dedicated
ONE single Chapter in the Seventh standard History textbook, to cover the
period when it was Indians who ruled the land..
Yes… ONE CHAPTER, COVERING A PERIOD
OF A THOUSAND YEARS ENCOMPASSING THE WHOLE OF THE INDIAN CIVILAZTION. One
Chapter from history lessons stretching across the fifth, sixth, seventh,
eighth, ninth and the tenth grades of CBSE. One insignificant chapter in over
five years of schooling dealing with a period of more than one thousand years.
This is that chapter.. Click on the image if you have the time and
patience to revisit your seventh standard History textbook
Now why only one chapter, is known
only to the enlightened souls who designed those textbooks. And as a result of
either their deliberate oversight or perhaps pure ineptitude, most of the
school children do not know have any idea about
The
Harsha Empire
This
empire was founded by King Harshavardhana. This guy ascended the throne
immediately after the Gupta dynasty, at an age when we aren’t allowed to have a
driving license or have a drink. He became an emperor at the age of sixteen in about 606 AD. He went on to capture
what is today called North India (Including Kashmir) and Pakistan, His empire
at its greatest extent looked something like this
He actually united all these states, something that we struggle to do
even today!!!
He fought almost 300 battles in the
41 years he ruled with a win loss ratio that even Novak Djokovic would
envy; 299-1. Uniting all these states, I guess was trouble even then.
Not only
was he adept as a fighting machine, but actually authored three full length
Sanskrit plays Ratnavali, Priyadarsika and Nagananda, while he was busy
conquering. Nagananda especially is considered one of the greatest plays
ever written in Sanskrit literature. It is thought to be the first play ever to
have five acts where the tone changes midway from Romance to horror and ends
with the villain turning into the hero. This guy introduced plot twists and ‘cut
to the chase‘ in the 6th century AD. And all of
that was probably thought in the middle of a battle.
Amongst Harsha’s other achievements,
was that he was the first to abolish Sati as a rule in his kingdom, some 800
years before Raja Ram Mohan Roy was even born. He was a major patron of the
Nalanda University, and was the title sponsor of the ramparts around it, for
protection from invaders and other pricks. No wonder Nalanda expanded
singularly because of this guys patronage.
Harsha was the first King to have
ever established a diplomatic relationship with China, with ambassadors and
gifts being exchanged in 630 AD. And last but not the least the guy in the pic
below lived in the kingdom of Harsha, and was patronized by this emperor
so that he could work on his field of expertise.
This was
the guy who went on to INVENT THE ZERO!!!!
Surely Emperor Harsha deserves more
than the 10 lines that he currently gets in our history textbook.
OR
The
Pala dynasty
This dynasty was founded by Gopala in
Bengal in the year 705 AD. This guy was not your run-of-the-mill type of tyrant
that were prevalent those days.
Gopala
was DEMOCRATICALLY elected by the people of his
kingdom. He was theFIRST EVER democratically
elected ruler in South Asia, perhaps even Asia and even the world. Giving
people right to elect the ruler wasn’t the most fashionable thing those days
you know!!!!
Legend
goes that people of Bengal at that time were sick of repeated invasions,
pillaging and general anarchy. So they got Gopala, the most powerful military
dude in their kingdom, anointed him as their king. And boy did he rule! He and
his successors ruled for the next 400 years.
Yes… 4 centuries in all!
This was their empire at the peak of
their power. Purely in terms of square kilometers, it exceeds even the Mughal
Empire at its peak. Go figure….
Pala’s other achievements again had
something to do with the Nalanda university. In those days, what would a king
do if he captured a territory? His intentions would most probably be to rape,
loot, pillage, plunder, destroy and disfigure, not necessarily in that order.
And what did King Dhanapal do when he captured Nalanda? He adopted it and took
it to even greater heights. And then figured one university was probably not
enough. So he established the Vikaramashila University as well. These two
universities are even today universally acknowledged to be the greatest
universities ever in Indian History. One flourished under the Palas, and the
other was established by them. And as a footnote, the entire region of Tibet
adopted Buddhism because of this guy’s efforts. So the Dalai Lama, in some way,
has to thank the Palas for his influence today.
So ruling
almost the entire Indian Sub-continent (From Afghanistan to Myanmar),
establishing not one but two of the greatest Universities of those times
guarantees you a place in the annals of history as a magnificent king.
But then the Palas did not stop at that. They then went on to build the biggest
ever Buddhist Vihara or monastery, ever. The Somapura Mahavira consisted of 177 cells for the
monks to live with a magnificent stupa in the middle. The entire campus
occupied about 30 acres and rivaled the Pyramids for its opulence, but with a
fundamental difference. The Somapura Mahavira was actually useful. In those
times you couldn’t have been a great Buddhist monk if you hadn’t been to
Somapura.
Kicks ass...doesn't it
Apparently, an archeologist named
J.C.French wanted to excavate the site of Somapura, but was refused citing lack
of funds. Pretty much the story of the shortchanging of this great empire by
our history. They deserve more than the 7 lines they get in our history
textbook.
OR
The Chalukyas
Remember the King Harsha you met two
paragraphs ago where I told you that he had a battlefield win loss ratio of
299-1? Well, The Chalukyas were responsible for that ‘one’ is his loss
column.
And amongst many other things like
inspiring the architecture that you have seen in Hampi, establishing and
propagating the Kannada language, they also were the first ones in the world to
legalize prostitution.
Poor souls don’t even get a mention
in the text book.
Similarly
The
Pallavas
You all know Chalukyas defeated the
undefeated king Harsha right. But then shortly afterward, Pallavas gave a
bloody nose to the same empire which had defeated the then undefeated king.
Pallavas ruled over the Chalukyas and most of India south of the Narmada for
about 150 years.
They single-handedly built the
rock-cut temple complex in Mahabalipuram. It is rumoured that half the temples
are actually under the sea, so the Mahabalipuram complex is actually way more
impressive than what is visible.
And it is in the Pallava kingdom, you
have the genesis of the south-asian script or ‘Pallava Grantha’. Whenever and
wherever you read Tamil or see it’s alphabets, remember that it had its origins
in the Pallava Grantha. Here is a list of all the languages that owe its
existence to the Pallava kingdom as their scripts have their root in this
grantha
§ Tamil
§ Telugu
§ Malayalam
§ Tulu
§ Sinhalese
§ Malay
§ Bahasa Indonesia
§ Thai
And how many pages does the great
Pallava dynasty get in our textbook… u guessed it… ZERO.
and Finally
The
Cholas
In a speaking
convention, the best speaker is always reserved for the last. In a farwell
party for your seniors, the most popular guy is always honoured last. So I am
mentioning the most important empire in Pre-Islmic Indian history, which also
happens to be the most shortchanged, The Cholas, Last.
Just to give you an idea, the Chola
empire, if it existed today would have spanned
§ India
§ Sri Lanka
§ Bangladesh
§ Myanmar
§ Thailand
§ Malaysia
§ Indonesia
§ Vietnam
§ Singapore
§ Maldives
Still not able to visualize the
expanse of the Chola Empire, Let me help you
Clearly,
Cholas did not know what the word small meant.
Cholas were one of the earliest
empires in Indian history, with some estimates dating them back to almost 300
B.C. They are even mentioned by Emperor Ashoka in his pillars, as a
friendly empire in the south. Their recorded downfall is in the 1250′s. In pre-medieval
India’s highly fluid power equations, the Chola empire was the one and perhaps
the only constant.
The good stuff about the Cholas
first. I am sure all of you must have heard of the beautiful and the grand
temples all over Tamil Nadu. It was the Cholas who added the adjective grand
before the temples. The kind of made it a fashion statement to build big
temples, covered with intricate carvings, a trend which was essentially
followed by his successors transcending empires.
Ever heard of the Brihadeeshwara
Temple in Tanjore. It was built by Raja Raja Chola in the 11th century. Let me
tell you some quick facts about this place of worship
§ The Shivling in this temple is the largest of its kind, in the
world.
§ The Nandi outside, is, again, the largest in the world.
§ The base of the temple is supposed to be so big, that the shadow of its
massive ‘gopuram’ actually does not fall on the ground.
§ The top of the ‘gopuram’ consists of a single granite stone weighing
approximately 82 tonnes (82,000 Kgs for those weak in metrics). Now, this being
11th century AD, it was a problem getting that big piece of rock to a height of
63 Metres. So what did the Cholas do?
§ Unsurprisingly they built the world’s largest transport ramp, using some
kick-ass trigonometry, which stretched all the way to about 20 Kms, all the way
inclining towards the top, which basically allowed the elephants to push the
rock all the way up.
§ Once on top, they sent masons to do some intricate carvings on that
stone, as if somebody would notice at that height.
No wonder it is called 'Big' Temple
Any emperor or empire will consider
this piece of art to be the peak of their artistic prowess which will be talked
about for generations to come. But Cholas being the Cholas, weren’t
satisfied. Raja Raja’s son Rajendra went on to build an exact replica of this
temple at a place called Gangai Konda Cholapuram, near the modern town of
Chidambaram.
Two big temples, takes quite a
beating doesn’t it. Sadly the second temple is not even mentioned in the
history books, anywhere. None outside Tamil Nadu even know about its existence,
even today.
And also did I tell you, the Cholas
were the first in the world to build a fully functional water diversion/water
regulation system in the world. Chola king Karikalan built this 329 feet stone
dam over the river Kaveri and a network of canals, in 1st century AD, for water
storage and irrigation. So when most of the western world was still eating raw
animal flesh, Cholas were building dams, navigable canals and were irrigating
10,00,000 (1 Million) hectares of land in their kingdom.
And before I forget, the system they
built is in use even today!!!
I don’t have to tell you whether our
historians bothered to mention this thing in our textbook.
In case you think Cholas were your
peace loving, violence shying role model Emperors, let me move on to some
of their badass stuff
Cholas
pioneered in the 6th century what we today know as the Navy. Use of ships for
fighting battles existed, Battle
of Salamis was probably the first naval
engagement ever recorded, but Cholas took Naval warfare to an entirely new level.
They probably were the first ones to make their Navy a totally independent
service with its own powers and not the extension of the army as was the norm
then. They also were the first to pioneer the concept of building exclusive
fighting ships and the first to implement the idea of fleets.
Their ship building program was
instituted and ships were designed and built for different purposes. Trap ships
(They called themselves ‘Kannis’ which means a ‘virgin’ in Tamil. They even had
a sense of humour) to lure the enemies into traps, destroyers to do what their
name suggests, supply ships etc were the some of the different types of Chola
Naval vessels. Cholas also were one of the first to evolve strategic naval
doctrines, advanced ship formations and naval warfare tactics. They were
the first ones to start operating ships in fleets. The smallest fleet in the
Chola navy consisted of about 12 ships and the largest went up to 500 or more
vessels.
In three words, They kicked ass…
And to match their tactical nous,
they augmented their vessels with the then state of the art weaponry, both
indigenous and imported from China. Their ships were equipped with catapults
and probably the first ship-based flamethrowers. Chola navies were routinely
known to annihilate enemies five times their number. The Chola navy, in one
line, could be described as
Awesome tactics+Brilliant
Ships+Latest Weaponry= Bad news for the enemy
This combination enabled Cholas, to
practice the first ever recorded instance of what is today called ‘Gunboat
Diplomacy’. Sri Vijaya empire, ruling Cambodia, had the guts to actually sack a
Chola Merchant convoy. Cholas responded by taking two fleets of about 500 ships
each and obliterating the Sri Vijaya kingdom out of existence.
The neighboring king of Kambujadesa, terrified of what happened to
his colleague, basically folded his hands, bowed his head and sent an
ornamental chariot to appease the Cholas and declared them as his rulers. And
Cholas didn’t even have to fire a single shot.
It is also believed by some sources,
that Cholas because of a navigational error, landed in Sri Lanka by mistake.
And just for fun, they went on to capture the entire country. There is no
actual proof of this but knowing the Cholas, this is quite possible.
At their peak Chola ships consisted
of about 1000-1500 battle ships divided into 4 fleets placed in strategic
locations like Cambodia, Sri Lanka and Kaveripoompatinam in Tamil Nadu also
known as Poompuhar. They were so powerful that the Chinese actually requested
Cholas to stop the rampant piracy in the straits of Malacca. They even merited
mentions in dispatches in faraway Greece for their naval expertise.
And they
were no mugs on the land either. Recall the Gangai Konda Cholapuram temple
built by Rajaendra Cholan? It literally means ‘Subduing of the river Ganges’.
He built the city in honour of his march upto the Ganges river. A south
Indian empire stretching from the River Kaveri in the south all the way up to
the River Ganga in the North deserves much better treatment in our history
books. As one of my friend’s said, if the Cholas had been born in America, DC
or Marvel comics would have transformed them into super-heroes with a body
of adamantium. Because they were born in India, they get
about a quarter page in the text-book.
There were in all a total of 16 Chola
kings in the Chola Empire. For all of you who actually read that chapter, you
will find only the names of two (Raja Raja Chola and Rajendra Chola) have been
mentioned. And all the other kings and important details of their empire have
been completely eliminated.
There were other empires too at that
time who find next to no mention or even worse no mention at all in our History
textbooks. The Rashtrakutas ruling what today will be Maharashtra, Karnataka
and Andhra were singularly responsible for three of the top four tourist
destinations in the state of Maharashtra today. I am talking about the Ajanta,
Ellora and the Elephanta Caves. A Special mention to the Kailas temple in
Ellora which is the world’s largest temple cut out of a single piece of rock.
This whole thing was built out of one single piece of rock!!!
Same was the case with the Yadavas,
who built the fort of Devagiri or Daulatabad, made famous later by the idiot
Mohammad Bin Tughlaq. You know why he specifically chose Devgiri to move his
capital?
It is the only fort in recorded
history that hasn’t yet fallen in an open battle. It was captured by Alaudiin
Khilji through deceit and bribery, but was not won in a fight. Who built
it..The Yadavs? Are they mentioned in the History textbook? If you said ‘No’,
You got the answer right.
I am not against the lessons on the
Islamic empire and their conquests, brutal as they may have been. They are a
part of our history. But my question is, aren’t these emperors and their
empires a part of our history too? Haven’t these empires contributed to our way
of life, our values and principles more than the Islamic kings have ever done?
And by eliminating these kingdoms from our history, aren’t you depriving our
generation of this great knowledge?
And by this wholesale deletion,
aren’t you mutilating history?
Imagine a country called X, a country with a continuous lineage of
5000 years. And it was filthy rich. In fact it was richer than the rest of the
world, at that time, put together. And everyone knew that. For the ancient non
X, earth dwellers who were not cavemen, X was not a country but an entire
freakin continent. And their papyrus scrolls showed it that way.
Rest of Asia, You are not worthy to be on our precious papyrus
Anyways, as what happens to a rich house in a poor locality, all the
have-nots in the world, realizing how much wealth was there for the taking,
converged onto X. They came in droves, time after time, to help
themselves to the unlimited booty on offer. And after a while
(seventeen times), someone just said ‘screw it, let’s settle down in India once
and for all’. And in the process they claimed X theirs, by birth.
It was as if a huge guy walked into a house, sat on its sofa, took out a
cigar, and said the house belongs to not only him, but his ancestors as well.
Without even as much as looking at the original inhabitants. What would or
could the poor souls do?
This is my house now amigo...
Whatever they did, it will still be better than what our historians have
done.
If you haven’t guessed it by now, Country X is India and the huge guy is
an allegory for the various Islamic hordes from regions as far as Mongolia to
modern day Kazakhstan. So instead of telling our children who this guy really
was and what he really did, we have deified and honoured this invading band of
tribes. In fact most of our medieval history is dedicated to these bunch of
rear-cracks, for reasons I don’t know. And as our historians lack ’round
objects below the abdomen’ to present the true picture of the Islamic rule, let
me do the job for them.
India’s first encounter with an
Islamic ruler started when a douchebag named Mahmud Of Ghazni landed here in
1004 AD. You might have come across this guy in your textbook as the dude who
raided the Somnath Temple, a little over 17 times. However, what our historians
have neglected to mention is that this guy did not just raid the Somnath
temple, he demolished it every time he came. In fact at one point of time he
was so pissed off by our resilience, he massacred about 50,000 Somnath
inhabitants, razed the temple to the ground again, smashed the ShivLing made
from solid gold into tiny little pieces and then embedded them in the steps of
the Jama Masjid back in his home town of Ghazni, so that the people could step
on it while going to pray.
Had there been a thesaurus.com in the 1st century AD, the first entry
for the words evil, horror, despicable and other similar words, would have been
Mahmud Of Ghazni.
If evil had a face..This had to be it
And if obliterating one temple was not enough, he also
destroyed the temples in Ujjain and Dwarka and sacked them. In fact, in all his
invasions he never tried to consolidate his rule in India. All he wanted to do
was loot and kill. To sum it up, He came, he saw, he destroyed, he looted,
unleashed an evil laugh and went back. In Fact he was so evil and caused so
much damage to our country, that our friends in Pakistan named a freakin
missile after him, just to harness his India destruction potential.
This was what was left of it after the first launch...
And that he was evil is not something that is being made up. This was
what his own biographer had to say
“In
the interest of his successors he constructed, in order to weaken the Indian
frontier, those roads on which afterwards his son Mahmud marched into India
during a period of thirty years and more. God be merciful to both father and
son! Mahmud utterly ruined the prosperity of the country, and performed there
wonderful exploits, by which the Hindus became like atoms of dust scattered in
all directions, and like a tale of old in the mouth of the people. Their
scattered remains cherish, of course, the most inveterate aversion towards all
Muslims. This is the reason, too, why Hindu sciences have retired far away from
those parts of the country conquered by us, and have fled to places which our
hand cannot yet reach, to Kashmir, Benares, and other places. And there the
antagonism between them and all foreigners receives more and more nourishment
both from political and religious sources.” Source.
The biographer was executed.
This guy, who will be right up there, in any ‘top 10 evil men of the
century’ list, should have been portrayed as the evil version of
the evil Gabbar Singh, a bandit and a mass murderer. Instead our
historians admire his persistence and perseverance. And then, we also
name a freakin movie after him.
It is like an MBA book, citing the Nazi holocaust as a case study for
logistics management. Perseverance, you must be kidding me.
Sacking and razing the great Indian temples was not the only
contribution made by Mahmud of Ghazni to our history. He was the guy, who
basically showed the desolate regions in central Asia that the unlimited Indian
wealth was there for the taking and you just had to turn up. He was the guy who
laid the foundation of Islamic rule in India for the next 700 odd years.
And we admire his perseverance.
After Mahmud of Ghazni, all the emperors in the central Asian wilderness
were itching to go to India for its limitless wealth. But it took them a 100
years to actually gather up enough men and material to mount another invasion,
simultaneously giving Indians time to replenish their treasure stocks. While we
were coming back to terms with life, Mahumd Of Ghazni married 9 wives, sired 56
legitimate children and got bitten by a female anophles mosquito and died of
Malaria (Never underestimate an angry mosquito). After long years of internal
squabbling, Mohammad Ghori (Ghauri) finally ascended the throne of Ghazni in
A.D 1178. And promptly attacked India in A.D 1191.
Opposing him this time was the Rajput
king, Prithviraj Chauhan, who famouslyeloped with Princess Samyukta, right under the
nose of her father, Raja Jaichand of Kanauj. Mohammad Ghauri, thanks to
the lessons learnt from Aamir Khan Mahmud of Ghazni,
was so overconfident about his impending victory that he was already planning
the after victoy pillage party when he came face to face with ‘My profession,
hobby, passion and happiness is war’ Prithviraj Chauhan, at Tarain, some 150
Kms from New Delhi.
He got his ass kicked.
He was not just defeated, he was totally routed. In fact, he got his
backside kicked so badly, that he was captured by Prithviraj Chauhan whom he
begged for mercy. And much to the consternation and objections of his
courtiers, (who wanted to chop Ghori’s head off), Chauhan magnanimously spared
Ghori’s life and let him return back to Ghazni with his head on his shoulders.
But Ghori, like all other ungrateful wretches, attacked Chauhan again in
A.D 1194.
Using some skulduggery and deceit, he somehow manged to defeat
Chauhan and his army and captured him alive. He promptly entered Delhi and
massacred some 100,000 people combining it with some general pillage and loot
thrown in. He then went back to Ghazni, where he executed the man who spared
his life three years before. Chauhan was killed with the full knowledge that he
had signed his own death warrant.
So according to our Historians
Prithviraj Chauhan, a merciful king, who in a total departure from the
general rules of warfare, spares the life of his adversary and under whose
aegis, the famous sufi saint Shaikh Salim Chisti was able to establish the
famous Ajmer Dargah, is not worthy enough to be mentiond.
While, Mohammad Ghori, an ungrateful
wretch, killer of a man who spared his life and 100,000 more, gets more space
than Emperor Harsha and Palas put together.You
think this is travesty, well it only gets worse from here. And yes, Pakistan
named another missile after this guy.
Mohammad Ghori, did not have any heir, so he basically carved up his
empire among his different Turkish Slaves, with Qutub-ud-Din aibak given the
kingdom of India or Hindustan as it was known then. And that started the Delhi
Sultanate. Here is a list of the other Delhi Sultanate Rulers
Qutub-Ud-Din Aibak: 1206-1210
Iltutmish: 1210-1236
Razia Sultana: 1236-1240 (Murdered in 1240 because she refused to wear a
veil, was secular, tried to appoint a Hindu to an important position and had a
relationship with an Abyssinian slave. Resurrected and murdered again by Hema
Malini in 1983)
Balban: 1246-1290
—————-End of the Slave Dynasty——————————-
1290-1320 Alauddin Khilji : Was probably the best of the Sultanate
kings. No religious porgorms were reported, and there were no widespread
massacres in the name of religion. He was also known to restore a defeated king
to kingship in exchange for tribute and gold.
However, his general, a eunuch named Malik Kafur, a Rajput who converted
to Islam, marched upto Tanjore in the south for some plunder. He negotiated in
such a way that he did not have to fight a single battle till he reached his
destination. He/She went south as far as Tanjore, desecrating and sacking
temples in Srirangam, Madurai and Chidambaram and taking their solid gold idols
away, which was his intention. However, it must be said that unlike the Mahmud
of Ghazni, nothing was demolished and all the looting happened without the
usual accompanying massacres.
It is said that when Kafur returned to New Delhi, he/she returned with
612 Elephants, Twenty Thousand Horses, 96,000 Thousand Nams (Approximately 241
Tonnes) of Gold and the usual countless boxes of jewels and pearls.
And an eunuch in Delhi was never insulted after that.
This was about the last time, there was a sort-of benevolent Delhi
Sultan, as most of the time, the term benovelent Delhi Sultan was an oxymoron.
Also please remember Alauddin Khalji, for he has a role later on.
1320-1413 — The Tughlughs: World Famous
1414-1451 — The Sayyidis: Another gang
1451- 1526 —- The Lodis: The Last of the Sultans.
—————————————————-End of the Delhi Sultanate——————————
(The
only reason why there is a description for Alauddin Khilji is that, he was the
only one who was the chip off the block. The rest were almost similar in nature
and evilness. To know more about the others, Please read Mahmud Of Ghazni, do a
Ctrl C and a Ctrl V)
With all these crackpots, (yes Mohammad Tughlugh included) the Delhi
sultanate lumbered along for 300 years, with different kings coming, killing
and naming different areas in today’s Delhi (Ferozshah Kotla and Tughlaghabad,
after Feroz Shah Tughlagh, Lodi Gardens after Ibrahim Lodi and so on) after
them and then mostly, getting killed.
I can go on and on about the not-so-nice
details that our historians have skipped in this era, for reasons best known to
them, but won’t for reasons of brevity. Please read this book or visit this website, if you want to know more about this period.
However, I will point some of the really big omissions.
Qutub-Ud-Din Aibak is described by the Indian historians as a slave who
worked up to be the king. However, he is famous because of of the eponymous
‘Qutub Minar’ in New Delhi. Our historians lavish
some unnecessary praise for what is at best a tall building, shaped
like a particular part of the male anatomy.
Big deal
This is what the Archeological Survey of India (ASI) plate at the minar
says about this totally pointless tower.
‘It
is the perfect example of a minar known to exist anywhere in the world.
Thevariegated plan
of its three lower stories the projecting balconies with stalactite pendentive
brackets and some more mumbo jumbo.’
However, what our eminent historians
have apparently forgotten to mention or deliberately ignored is, that 27 temples were utterly destroyed and the stones from those very
temples were used to build this tower. And the builders were bloody proud
of this fact. So proud, that Aibak and his successors had the gall to
inscribe it on the eastern gate of the Qutub complex.
27 temples destroyed for building this ‘thing’ and all our historians do
is praise its variegated, pendentic brackets.
Just
another thought, isn’t it ironic that most of the areas in our national capital
are named after invaders, temple destroyers and who imposed taxes on poor
innocents who just happened to be non-Muslims? I doubt any other nation on this
planet honours their destroyers in this manner. (America even changed it’s
metric system to wash itself off the British influence). Most importantly,
nothing is named after the ones who actually did a lot of good for our country.
The Delhi Sultanate, with the exception of Razia Sultana, Balban and
Alauddin Khilji, actually was nothing more than a bunch religious
fanatics, who rose to power almost miraculously and then somehow sustained it.
However, whatever they did pales in comparison to who followed them, The
Mughals.
The name Mughal itself is quite an accident. Genghis Khan, in his many
conquests across the length of world, had some fun when he was doing his stuff
in Central Asia. The result was a awkward hybrid between Mongol and Persian,
which resulted in the name Moghul, which became Mughal. Genghis Khan, gave
these guys the right to rule as long as they recognized the superiority of the
Khan. All was well, until Genghis Khan died.
Kingdoms those days, especially the central asian ones, were not
entirely unlike a bunch of kids in the first standard. Totally quiet till you
have a teacher in a class, only to explode the moment teacher leaves. The only
difference was, these guys had swords, spears and cannons to settle their
disputes.
So amid all the bloodshed and anarchy, there rose a warrior who united
them all. And he was lame and he looked like the illegitimate child of the
ugliest ogre.
This was apparently his best pic
So lame guy, kills everyone else, captures the capital city of Samarkand
and declares himself king. And then attacks, you guessed it right, India.
Attacking and plundering India was like a high point in a Mongol’s life,
something you had to do to prove to rest of the world that you were a man.
Mongols, before Timur, repeatedly attacked India, and once almost
defeated the then emperor Alauddin Khilji. Which was when Khilji decided that
shit had really hit the fan. So the next time Mongols came, he sent the now
legendary Malik Kafur after them, who annihilated them in open battle. And just
to drive home the message, Khilji had all the prisoners (some 10,000 dudes)
trampled by elephants, their heads cut off and displayed as scarecrows outside
his fort in Siri.
The Mongols did not come back.
Till Timur the Lame.
When Timur the lame, attacked India in A.D 1398, the Delhi Sultanate was
in a total state of anarchy. So he basically had a free pass. Brushing aside
whatever little resistance he faced, he got busy doing what was considered his
dynasty’s expertise.
There are a 100,000 people in this stadium
Just imagine, every single human in this crowd, speared through the
chest, decapacitated and their heads stacked up in a Jenga like formation
outside a city. Which was exactly what Timur the lame did.
To discourage resistance or mebbe he
just got a kick out of it, Timur killed 100,000 ‘non Musulmáns’, cut their
heads off and built a skull-wall outside Delhi. When the
terrified Dilliwallahs capitulated, he walked in and killed the rest to the
last man, woman and child, excepting the quarter which had ‘saiyids, the
‘ulamá, and other Musulmán’ and went back with another trove of cash, gold and
jewels. He also apparently sent out an order that, every soldier in his looting
column had to return with at least two severed human heads to show him.
And, how did Timur justify these dastardly acts of violence: ‘Muslim
Delhi Sultanate was too tolerant toward its Hindu subjects’. Yes, too
tolerant.
Built entirely using Indian money
And the first emperor of the much celebrated by our historians, Mughal
Dynasty, Emperor Ẓahīr ad-Dīn Muḥammad Babar was the great great grandson of
this murdering wretch. Yes, a direct descendant.
So now you know why the ancestry of the great Mughal empire has
been conveniently hidden from us for so long. You don’t want to tell
the people that the empire we celebrate the most, and dedicate the maximum
space in out history books to, is directly responsible for the most destructive
religious and ethnic cleansing ever in Indian history. And as portrayed in our
textbooks, Babar did not land in India because he was a great visionary or an
emperor. He came here simply because he had nowhere else to go.
He tried to capture Samarkand, in modern day Uzbekistan where he got his
ass kicked by the Uzbek king Shaibani Khan. Reduced to a wandering nomad but
with the support from the then Persian king, he landed at the gates of India,
where to his luck the Lodi’s were in strife. And before you know it, he was the
ruler of India. And he had the temerity to claim the throne of India, ‘as his
right’.
And he was scary
Babur set about expanding his
kingdom, defeating the Rajputs, capturing the fort of Chittor and also is
credited with the world’s first execution by firing squad, when he ordered his
musketmen to kill the 100000 prisoners of war. His rule was in no way better
than the others, as Indian historians potray. He defaced Jain temples in
Rajashtan, simply because he could not stand them. And ofcourse he demolished
the most famous temple of all, the temple at Ayodhya to build the eponymous mosque, the
Babri Masjid. So Babar is directly responsible for the communal tension in our
country today. And our historians, lead by the esteemed Ms Romila Thapar
continue to deny this, in face of clear evidence, and as a result we are kept
completely in the dark.
On a
related note, it is deeply distressing that the most comprehensive work
detailing the wanton destruction of temples and massacres perpetrated by the
sultanate and their successors comes from a Belgian Historian, Koenraad Elst. Yes
a Belgian
The next part will delve further into the excesses and the
occassional benovelence of the Mughals.
Personally, I want these not-so-good things to be expunged from our
History for obvious reasons. But when I read successive chapters in Indian
history textbooks dedicated to the glorification of these very emperors, I felt
I had to bring out the real story. I apologize if I hurt some sentiments, It is
not my intention. But I ask
1.
Why glorify the Mughal rule, when it
was their ancestor who was the architect of one of the most destructive
religious pogroms?
2.
If you are mentioning Ghazni’s 17
incursions and describe him as persistent, why not tell what he actually did
those 17 times?
3. When you credit the Delhi Sultanate for bringing stability to India, why
hide their less glorious stuff like forced conversions, wanton looting and‘jiziya’?
4.
Most importantly, Why do you think
our countrymen cannot handle the truth?
FOUR LITTLE THINGS THAT
SHAPED INDIA:
6.
History books tell us that only
events of tectonic magnitude, like say the Vasco Da Gama journey, shapes the
history of the world.
7.
This post is not about events like
that.
8.
This post is about some random little
incidents from Indian history. Incidents, which are inconspicuous when viewed
in isolation. So inconspicuous in fact, that they were eliminated from our
History books.
9.
Can’t blame the textbooks though. I
mean what is the worst that they could have missed by not mentioning a single
arrow, a pencil stroke or a nod of the head?
10.
It is not as if these things
influenced our History.
11.
12. No
4: Iltutmish, with a polite harmless nod, says No to Jalal ad-din
Mohammad, Ruler of the Khwarezmian Empire. Unknowingly saves Indian
Civilization
13.
It all started with this
14.
15.
A gift basket
16.
Seriously, this story started with a
pretty little, 13th century style gift basket, sent by Genghis Khan. If you bothered to read the link, you have a fair idea how this thing
ends.
17.
In 1215 A.D, Genghis Khan, the ruler
of Mongolia, sent a pretty looking gift basket to Ala Ud-Din Mohammad, the
ruler of the neighboring Khwarezmian Empire. He even inscribed the
words, ‘You are the ruler of the land of the rising sun and I of the setting
sun’ on it. He just wanted to be friends.
18.
19.
However, Ala ad-Din went all Gerard
300 This is Sparta Butler on the caravan. He ordered his governor, a guy called
Inalchuq, to slaughter every one of the poor souls who carried the basket. And
on top of the murder, Ala Ad-din didn’t even return the basket.
20.
Strike One: Ala ad-din
21.
Genghis Khan, perhaps giving Ala
ad-din the benefit of doubt, sent three royal ambassadors (One Muslim and Two
Mongols), to politely enquire about his missing caravan and the fate of his
basket. He still wanted to be friends.
22.
Ala ad-din, this time, shaved the
heads of the two Mongol ambassadors and beheaded the Muslim one. Sending the
two bald men back, with the severed head, he sent the message, ‘What the f***k
can you do Genghis’?
23.
Strike Two : Ala ad-Din
24.
With Genghis Khan, two strikes is all
you got.
25.
With an army of 250,000, 13th century
Rambos, battering rams, gunpowder, trebuchets, enormous siege bows capable of
throwing 20-foot arrows into siege works and a
guy called Subutai, the greatest General of the 13th
century and the eight centuries that followed it, Genghis Khan marched into Khwarezim to avenge his dead ambassador.
26.
Which was like arriving to a knife
duel with an AK-47 assault rifle.
27.
What followed was an orgy of blood
and pillage, never before witnessed in human history. Khwarezmian cities were
captured with the ease of capturing enemy cities in Rise of Nations; being
played with cheat codes. Six to eight million Khwarezmian civilians and 1
million soldiers were ruthlessly murdered and decapitated. The favourite Mongol
game of ‘Cut off head and build a wall with it’, was played outside the capital
city of Samarkand with its now dead 1.2 million inhabitants. And the guy who
started this tale of annihilation, Governor Inalchuq/the gift basket caravan
killer, was executed in the most hideous way possible. Molten silver was poured
through his mouth, ears and every other orifice in his body.
28.
Genghis however reserved his
best/worst for the city of Urgench, the birth place of Ala ad-din. Every Mongol soldier was ordered to kill at least 24 Urgenchi
citizens. Once that was done and everyone was dead, Genghis as the
final eff-you, demolished all the dams around the city that held back the River
Amu Darya, completely wiping the city off the face of the earth.
29.
All because Khwarezmian’s killed one
Mongol and shaved the head of two others.
30.
31. A great city lies beneath the still water
32.
Maybe as an evil
joke, Schadenfreude or benevolence, Genghis Khan allowed Ala Ad-din
to escape to a town on the Caspian sea, where he finally died. Books say Ala
Ad-din died of some inflammation. But it is more likely that he just dropped
dead from the shock of seeing the violent dismemberment of his once glorious
empire.
33.
34. How the hell did it happen!
35.
After what the Ala Ad-din family went
through, you expect the survivors to just give up. But not his son Jalal. He
ran into Khorasan, what is today’s Afghanistan, to continue the war. Not
wanting to leave any loose ends, Genghis marched right after him. As the cities
of Khorasan rapidly vanished before his eyes, Jalal, as the last
resort, ran to India.
36.
India was then ruled by Iltutmish,
the third king of the Delhi Sultanate.
37.
Keeping in mind the ‘Me Muslim, He
Muslim, We both brothers’, he appealed to Iltutmish for help. He sought refuge
and an army to wrest his kingdom back from Genghis. He was confident that
Iltutmish would not let his fellow Muslim monarch and brother down against an
infidel. And then
38.
ILTUTMISH SAID NO.
39.
For the first time in the history of
the world, a Muslim monarch had denied asylum to another Muslim monarch who was
being hunted by a non-Muslim Emperor. Jalal was flabbergasted. Shocked
at this blunt refusal and pretty much out of options,
Jalal Ad Din went back to Khorasan disheveled, disillusioned and praying to God
that his head would not become a brick in a Mongol skull wall.
40.
Genghis, by now though, was simply
bored of all the bloodshed, pillage and orgy. Realizing that anyone
from Khwarezim was either a skeleton or a hobo, he returned to
Mongolia. Importantly for Indians though, he went back without invading India.
41.
Meanwhile, Jalal disguised himself
and lived incognito for the rest of his life, forever wondering whether the
annihilation of his entire empire for the killing of one man was a little over
the top.
42. WHAT
IF ILTUTMISH HAD SAID YES TO JALAL?
43.
Indian Civilization, as we know it,
would not exist. Simple.
44.
45.
This was
the Khwarizmi Empire, before the gift basket arrived. Why do you
think we don’t read about it in the History books alongside the other great
empires of the time? What happened to them?
46.
47.
Genghis Khan happened to them. And
they were not alone. When Genghis Khan invaded Baghdad in 1258, he turned what
was then fertile plain into a freaking desert. Baghdad has still not
recovered, 760 years after the Mongol invasion. 7 centuries.
48.
Genghis was, what the Bible calls,
Armageddon. If Genghis arrived in your city in the 13th century, not even
its dogs and cats remained alive to see the aftermath. He was unbelievably intelligent and
extremely ruthless. He took the dictum ‘All is fair in war’ to an entirely new
level. Hell, he was the first guy to invent biological weapons and use them
in a battle.
49.
If Iltutmish had said Yes to Jalal
Ud-din, all it would have done is to show a red flag to the rampaging Genghis.
Angry Genghis would have straight up marched into India with his superb,
undefeated army to fight Iltutmish. Iltutmish would have had as much of a
chance against Genghis as India has against Spain in a football match. Zero.
50.
The probable timeline would have been
51.
Genghis Invades India —–> Genghis
decimates Iltutmish —–> Genghis destroys Delhi —–> Genghis sees the
rubies and the boobies on offer —–> Genghis pushes further into India
—–> Obliterates other cities and massacres everybody else —–>
Wipes out Indian Civilization, like the Khwarezmian one —–> Leaves behind
Mongols to govern —–> We all become Mongols.
52.
Never was a more important No said in
the history of India. And never was a more important ‘No’ missed by a history
textbook.
53. No
3: A freak arrow hits Hemu in the eye at the second battle of Panipat. Ensures
Mughal rule in India.
55.
Wandering Central Asian tribe, who
after getting kicked out of their country landed in India and became its
rulers.
56.
Babur founded the Mughal empire in
1526, and was succeeded by his opium addicted, pleasure seeking,
hookah smoking son Humayun in 1530. Opium and wars were never happy companions
and he, inevitably was defeated by Sher Shah Suri in 1540. The crippling defeat
ensured Humayun, his family and his hookah, were back to being Nomads, exactly
14 years after his father was crowned the emperor of Hindustan.
57.
Google
image search for Nomads
58.
While Humayun was wandering in the
Persian wilderness, begging to different Monarchs for a few crumbs of support,
a son of a Hindu priest and a salt petre trader, Hem Chandra a.k.a Hemu was
fast rising up the ranks of Islam Shah, the successor of Sher Shah Suri. Initially
made the minister of commerce for his administrative acumen, Hemu became
his chief advisor and confidante. So important was Hemu, that when an
upstart called Adil Shah seized the throne in 1553, Hemu was elevated to the
post of the Prime Minister. This, when all the other Islam Shahi court members
were executed.
59.
While Adil Shah was busy drinking and
boning away to glory, Hemu was ruthlessly putting down insurrections against
the new Emperor. When he was in Bengal in 1555, the nomad Humayun returned to India
with an army. He killed Adil Shah, crowned himself the Emperor of Hindustan and
declared war on Hemu.
60.
You don’t piss a guy like Hemu off.
61.
62.
Hemu embarked on a campaign that
mirrored Genghis Khan in tactical brilliance and strategy. Mughal territories
fell like dominoes as Hemu won 22 consecutive
battles against various Mughal generals. Such was Hemu’s might, that
the commander of the Mughal city of Agra, ran away in pure terror when he saw
Hemu’s armies. As the final stamp of his domination, Hemu marched onto Delhi
and routed the Mughal army there under some dude called Tardi Beg.
Christening himself as Hema Chandra Vikramaditya, he crowned himself
the emperor of Hindustan in 1556, thus becoming India’s first Hindu Emperor
after 350 years of uninterrupted Islamic rule. Unfortunately though, he was to
become the last.
63.
While Hemu was marching towards
Delhi, Humayun managed to get himself killed by falling down a flight of
stairs. His death left the 13 year old, Jalal Ud-Din Mohammad Akbar as the
Emperor of whatever was left of the Mughal empire. Seeing Hemu’s charge,
Akbar’s Persian adviser Bairam Khan, considered running away to Kabul. However,
as a last throw of the dice, he attacked Delhi with whatever was left of his
army.
64.
They clashed with Hemu at Panipat on
the 5th of November 1556, which History calls the Second
battle of Panipat.
65.
Hemu, being a daredevil, was atop his
battle elephant, personally leading his Afghan troops into battle. Bairam Khan
was three miles behind. Dividing his army into three flanks, Hemu’s initial
charge shattered the Mughal
flanks and cavalry. With their main strength
annihilated, the severely disoriented and disorganized Mughal army at
that point of time was like a rabbit standing in front of a hunting lamp, totally defenceless and ready for
slaughter.
66.
67.
Then, fate intervened.
68.
Mughal’s tactics to counter Hemu’s
elephant army, consisted of shooting random arrows at
the mastodons and praying to God they hit. Unsurprisingly, the tactic
never worked. This time, by some freak of fate
70.
Hemu’s first reaction to this was to
remove the arrow and continue the fight. But because of incessant blood
loss, Hemu eventually slumped in his howdah unconscious, but alive. His
troops though, sadly assumed he was dead. Demoralized due to the apparent loss
of their General, they lost their co-ordination. Which was when Bairam Khan
ordered the reserves to charge. The now disorganized army, wilted
before the Mughal reserves and were annihilated. Hemu was captured and
beheaded by the thirteen year old Akbar and Bairam Khan. His torso was hung outside the Purana Qila in
Delhi as a warning to others. And Bairam Khan, got a skull wall made out of
Hemu’s soldiers.
71.
72.
Life and death, for Hemu, was like an
African’s left hand. Neither right nor fair.
73. What
if the arrow hadn’t hit him?
74.
The reign of the Mughals, would have
ended before it even started. And, we would have been a Hindu Monarchy under
Hemu XVIII. So, No Taj Mahal, Red Fort, unnecessary Mughal glory in our history
books and
75.
No
Akbar-Birbal tales
76.
If not for that freak arrow, Hemu
would have obliterated the Mughals to a state worse than their erstwhile
nomadic existence. Hemu would have triumphed at Panipat and it would have
been Bairam Khan’s torso instead that would have hung at Purana Qila. Akbar, the thirteen year old kid,
would have either been exiled to Central Asia or killed outright to prevent
future conflicts. Most probably the latter.
77.
Hindustan, would have had a Hindu
King. But with a difference. He would have had active support of his Muslim
subjects. Because Hemu never made any religious distinctions. He even convinced
Afghan warriors, radical Islamists all of them, to call him Badshah and fight for his Hindu standard. Hemu was a firm believer in meritocracy and was probably the first
secular king in medieval India.
78.
79.
Now the bigger picture. By being a
Hindu, when all the empires were divided on religious lines, Hemu would have
secured the support of the next most powerful people at that time, the Hindu
Rajputs.. And this would have been in addition to the support of the Afghan
warlords. So, for the first time in the History of India, you would have had an
Emperor who had the support of both the majority and the minority. Which would
have been bad news for his opponents, the renegade Muslim sardars of the Delhi
Sultanate and Mughals, in the Indian hinterland.
80.
Whenever Hemu would have marched
against them , they would not have had a sniff of a chance. As a result, India,
would have been born long, before the British arrived. And in this India, both
Hindus and Muslims would have lived peacefully as their Emperor, did not make
any religious distinctions.
81.
Going ahead into the future, there
would have been no Shivaji and all the other Anti-Mughal Indian emperors. They
existed because of the Mughals. Now replace Muslim Mughals, with a Hindu Hemu.
Shivaji and company, would have not only accepted Hemu IV, but would have joined
him. And Hemu IV, recognizing their prowess, would have made them important
cogs in his machine. Think of this like, Hemu+Shivaji+Everyone else…
82.
And that, would have meant big
problems for our eventual rulers, the British. When they arrived in India, they
mainly faced petty and scheming Indian kings, all trying to cut each other’s
throats. All Brits had to do was play one against the other, which they did
brilliantly. But here, their opponent would have been a united and a powerful
Indian empire led by Hemu VI. If they as much as raised a finger, Hemu VI would
have cut their freaking head, packed it onto a ship and sent it back to England
as a warning. So no Pax Brittanica for India.
83.
No Brittania, No Mountbatten,
No Nehru, No Commonwealth and finally no Suresh Kalmadi and the Commonwealth
Games scam in 2008.
84.
Suresh
Kalmadi, seen thanking the unnamed archer
85.
But for that freaking arrow.
86.
87.
2. Siraj Ud-Daula forgets to bring a
tarpaulin sheet to the battle of Plassey. Gives British the gateway to
establish their empire.
88. The 1700′s was an
interesting time for India, for that was the time Europeans started realizing
the riches that our country had to offer. So, Europeans from all countries,
rich or poor, started settlements in the Indian sub-continent to make a quick
buck. The Dutch, The French and even the friggin Danes found their way to
India. And then the English arrived.
89.
90. The East India
Company, set up shop in India in 1612 claiming to be a trading company, trying
to make a bit of cash. They did try to exceed their brief in 1682, when Job
Charnock (Better known as the guy who established Kolkata) tried to capture
Mughal fortifications on the Hooghlee river.
91. Mughals,
specifically their Emperor, Aurangazeb, did not like it.
92. In retaliation,
Aurganzeb gave them such a pounding that within a month, all of Job Charnock’s
forces were wiped out (Child’s
war). And for some more fun, Mughals
captured the port of Bombay. Scared s***less by the aggressive Mughals,
British ambassadors begged pleaded and even prostrated in front of Aurangazeb
to get Bombay back. They finally had to pay an indemnity of 600,000 17th century
pounds for Aurangazeb’s benevolence. Also, they promised to keep their tails
firmly between their red backsides.
93. So when Aurangazeb
died in 1706, what did the British do? They broke their promise.
94. Playing one Indian
Nawab against another, the British started expanding. Aiding them in this
endaevour was the outbreak of the seven
years war in Europe. The European Franco-English contest soon spread to
India, in the form of the Carnatic
Wars. Indian Nawabs now had to take sides. Inevitably the war spread to one of
India’s largest states at that time, Bengal.
95. Bengal was then
ruled by a guy called Aliwardy
Khan. British got the first toehold in Bengal, when the Khan
solicited their help to keep out the rampaging
Marathas. In return, Brits got the permission to trade in Bengal. Aliwardy
however, was shrewd enough to keep the British at an arms length, lest they
involve him in their war against the French.
96. That common sense
disappeared when Aliwardy Khan died in 1756. He was succeeded by his stupid,
short tempered nineteen year old grandson, Siraj Ud Daulah. The succession
happened around the time British started fortifying their trading center
in Calcutta. Siraj did not like it and asked the them to stop immediately. And
when the Brits showed no signs of listening, he did what any nineteen year old
with a real army and cannons would do.
97. He attacked
Calcutta.
98. Defeating the small
British Army stationed there he took 146 British prisoners, including
civilians. Siraj was happy, I mean how many nineteen year old’s in history, can
boast of capturing Calcutta and defeating the British in a real war?
99.
100.
Then, in one of the biggest dick moves in Indian history, Siraj Ud Daula
stuffed the 146 Englishmen, into a dungeon meant to house six people. When the
dungeon was opened, Siraj came face to face with 127 dead and nineteen
delirious Englishmen in what is known as the black
hole of Calcutta.
101.
Understandably, the Brits were pissed.
102.
To teach the nineteen year old a lesson, 500 whites, 2500 native sepoys
and Robert Clive marched into Bengal from Madras. First they recaptured
Calcutta, and then for some action, sacked the nearby French settlement of
Chadranagar. As the French were now Siraj’s allies, He, once again, attacked
the British. On the 23rd of June, 1757, the two armies came face to face at the
village of Palashi, 140 kms north of Kolkata.
103.
Siraj came to Palashi with 35,000 infantry, 7000 cavalry and 53 cannons,
8 of them Made in France. Facing up to his mass, were 750 Europeans, 2100
native Indians, 8 cannons and one Robert Clive. If this was a wrestling bout,
it would have looked something like this.
104.
105.
The British though had one ace up their sleeve. Those who paid attention
in History class, at this point will say, Mir Jafar. In reality though, the ace
was not even a human being. It was far more mundane. It was a
106.
107.
A canvas tarpaulin sheet
108.
British, being meticulous and all, had bought along tarpaulin sheets
from Madras, to cover themselves. Siraj, in his hurry, forgot to bring one. And
the night before the battle, it rained.
109.
British covered their Gunpowder with their tarpaulin sheet. Siraj just
abused the Gods, because
110.
Basic science suggests that when water mixes with gunpowder, the result
is the equivalent of
111.
112.
Siraj now had plenty of it. Which ensured, the only way his
cannons could do same damage, was by physically falling on the British.
113.
While the British, gunpowder covered with aforementioned tarpaulin
sheet, had cannons that were
114.
115.
When, Siraj charged at the British with his numerically, for
the want of a better word, superior army, British uncovered their cannons.
When, Siraj tried to retaliate, all he had was a gooey mess that was his
gunpowder, which could not fire a miniature pistol, let alone a friggin cannon.
Siraj’s main army was torn to shreds and his most important general of the day,
Mir Madan Khan was killed. Center lost, Siraj turned to his flanks,
where his other General, Mir Jafar was waiting with 10,000 men.
116.
At this point, Jafar showed the 1757 equivalent of the middle finger to
Siraj and walked over to the British.
117.
Siraj lost the day and was chased away from Bengal. Mir Jafar was made
the Nawab, who gratefully gave the British the right to collect taxes in the
province of Calcutta. Using this windfall, in 1764, they engaged and defeated
the then Mughal Emperor, Shah Alam, in the battle
of Buxar. As spoils of war, they gained the administrative and economic
control of Bengal, Bihar and Orrisa. Now a recognized power with a lot of cash,
they turned on other Indian kings and the
rest is history.
118.
What if Siraj had covered his
gunpowder?
119.
We would today be participating in the Jeux de la Francophonie.
In other words, we would have been ruled by the freaking French. And so would
have been the whole of Europe. The French would have been kings.
120.
121.A french man
122.
If you did not realize, the French supported Siraj. That is why those 8
Made-in-France cannons. If Siraj had won, it would have been the French who
would have got the control of Calcutta and all its riches. The now rich
French’s first priority would have been to eliminate their main adversary on
the sub-continent, The British. And British would not have had a chance, as
their army would have been annihilated at Plassey. Driven out of India, French
would have had a free hand. So in everything that happened in India after
Plassey, just replace the British with the French.
123.
Also, why do you think the British became the Kings of the world?
Because they could wage war with impunity. And why were they able to that?
Because the constant inflow of the booty from India gave them the
economic power to do it. Transfer all that wealth to the France, and imagine a
new Europe. In this Europe, French would have been emperors.
124.
If only Siraj remembered to bring a tarpaulin sheet.
125.
1. Cyril Radcliffe gives the town of
Gurdaspur to India. Hands Kashmir to India on a platter.
126.
1947, India is on the cusp of independence. But, instead of celebrating
this momentous occasion, both Muhammad Ali Jinnah and Jawaharlal Nehru were
busy playing the game of ‘Who wants to be the Prime Minister of India’.
Unfortunately in this game, there was not going to be a sporting loser.
127.
Creating two positions of the Prime Minister was deemed unfeasible.
But both had to be satisfied. So, it was decided that two new countries were to
be formed instead, each with one Prime Minister’s post. Now both of them could
become P.M’s and go home happy. And India could be independent.
128.
129.
However, there was one small flaw in the plan. They had no clue on how
to divide the country.
130.
Enter ace lawyer, Knight of the British Empire and a guy who had never
been to the east, forget India in his 48 years of existence, Cyril
Radcliffe.
131.
132.
Politicians said he was chosen for the most critical vivisection in the
History of the world, for his acumen. Others however said, he was chosen for
his total ignorance about India. Which meant the neutrality of his line could
not be questioned. Whatever the reasons, he had to draw a border that was going
to impact 88 Million people directly and many more indirectly, for generations
to come. And he had to do it, in little over a month, for a pay of Rs 40000.
Software Engineers in Bengaluru, get more time and more money to do stuff
million times less complicated and critical.
133.
Radcliffe ensconced himself in a quaint little cottage in
Shimla to perform this operation. To give him company were army maps,
population charts, religious statistics and a retinue of
servants. He started his line from the south of Kashmir with an intention of
terminating it in Rajasthan. The line arrived at a little district in Punjab
called Gurdaspur.
134.
135.
This was Grudaspur’s religious distribution, in 1947.
136.
Muslims : 47% Hindus: 40% Other religions 13%
137.
Radcliffe was given strict instructions to push as many Muslim majority
districts into Pakistan and extend the same favour to India for the Hindu
dominated ones. Going by that logic and all other logics of that time,
Gurdaspur had to be given to Pakistan.
138.
Instead, Radcliffe gave Gurdaspur to India.
139.
What made Radcliffe’s task of separating Punjab easier was the Indus
river. Radcliffe simply followed the river to divide India and Pakistan,
accounting for the above instructions. Most of the districts happened to lie
along the river so there were no issues, apart from Gurdaspur. Though having a Muslim
majority, giving Gurdaspur to Pakistan would have meant creating a bulge, an
awkward abciss, spearing into India.
140.
141.Like This
142.
If nothing else, he wanted the border he drew to look good on the maps
and other geographical entities. So Radlicffe, decided to give Gurdaspur to
India.
143.
Jinnah and his Muslim league cohorts protested at losing a Muslim
majority district to India. Muslims in that district, like all the other
districts, were never asked for their opinion. After shouting for sometime, Jinnah
gave up. At the end of the day, what profound difference would it have made to
Pakistan to have got one additional district in Punjab?
144.
Turns out a lot, especially if the name of the district is Gurdaspur.
145.
Once all the independence formalities were done, money, chairs, tables
and library books divided, Douglas Gracey, the general of the British Pakistani
army wanted to take a break. Jinnah advised him to go to Kashmir. As a Muslim
majority state, ruled by a Hindu ruler Hari Singh, Jinnah took it for granted
that Kashmir belonged to Pakistan.
146.
However, when Gracey reached the borders of Kashmir, he was refused
entry. Which was the first sign of the Kashmir cake slipping away from
Pakistan.
147.
When India and Pakistan were freed, the rulers of
the princely states were given an option to join either India or
Pakistan or remain independent. Hari Singh chose the third option. Jinnah was
wild.
148.
Sending troops in the guise of tribals, Jinnah decided to snatch Kashmir
away from the hapless Hari Singh. When his meagre forces were routed by the
Pakistani army, Hari Singh had only one choice. He appealed to India for help.
Nehru, in his few moments of sanity and intelligence, demanded Hari Singh
accede to India if he wanted troops. Hari Singh gave in. Kashmir was now India’s.
149.
150.
See...I can be intelligent
too!
151.
As a part of the agreement, India immediately flew in the 161st regiment
into Srinagar with further reinforcements on the way. The first task of the
Indian army was to defend the Srinagar airport, which at that point of time,
was Kashmir’s sole point of contact with India. Initial attacks by Pakistani
‘Tribals’ were repulsed, but Indian hold on the Srinagar Airport, was at
best tenuous. As there were innumerable ‘tribals’, reinforcements were
mandatory. And without reinforcements, the airport was a lost cause.
152.
Loss of the Srinagar airport, meant loss of contact with India. Which
effectively meant, the loss of Kashmir.
153.
The Indian Air Force in 1947 consisted of a piffling
12 Dakotas and some other fighters. Their capacity to haul in troops
was severely limited. And they could not fly in tanks. The only way the Indian
army could get the support that was needed, was by road. A road, which could handle
heavy military traffic, something akin to a National Highway.
154.
Now, Go back to Gurdaspur.
155.
156.
Look for 1A
157.
1 A on the map is the other name for National Highway 1 A. The only
military traffic capable road link to Kashmir. And as you can see, 1A passed
through Gurdaspur.
158.
Gurdaspur now being Indian property, Indian army, tanks, howitzers and
all other heavy machinery, rolled through the same highway to Kashmir. Whether
they paused at Gurdaspur to thank Radcliffe is not known, but this army arrived
in Kashmir and routed the Pakistanis. Not expecting to face Indian tanks,
Pakistanis fell back quickly. As the final happy ending to this story, the
North-Indian Indian map today looks like this
159.
160.
What if Radcliffe had swayed the other
way?
161.
The North Indian map, today would have looked something like this.
162.
163.
And we're screwed
164.
Without the heavy machinery, the troops holding the Srinagar airport
would have been overwhelmed. Without access to Kashmir, Indian army generals
would have watched Pakistanis run amok in whatever Kashmir that remained. The
king, Hari Singh, would have been killed and Pakistan would have claimed
Kashmir for themselves.
165.
The Kashmir issue would have gone to the United Nations, who would have
insisted on a plebiscite. And a cease fire with the proviso that the
territories held by the armies holds true till that plebiscite is
held. Which effectively meant Kashmir would have stayed with Pakistan forever.
166.
Kashmir now being in Pakistan, would have ensured direct contact between
China and Pakistan. And India being surrounded by enemies on three sides
instead of two. So India would not have gone to war against Pakistan in 1965
and 1971, as Pakistan would have had the option to open the third front.
167.
Similarly, Pakistan would have controlled the source of their main
river, the Indus. Hence a very
important bargaining chip would have been lost to India. Also, Pakistan
would have controlled Siachen. Importance of Siachen, with respect to it being a source of water is
immeasurable.
168.
All this avoided, simply because Radcliffe wanted his border to look
good on the maps.
169.
To compensate what Radcliffe did for India, we should institute a
special Rs 40000 note with his face on it. And put a gold statue of his in
Gurdaspur, if not anywhere else. And name NH 1 A as the Radcliffe Road, just to
rub it in the faces of the Pakistanis.























































