All Iz Well - Three words to define life

Two years back when i was in a dilemma to get my third child removed, one man changed our decision and saved a life. Today being depressed and dejected at the gossips created on me, when i was just tumbling down, the same man lifted me back and made me happily enjoy life by saying just three words " All iz well" This one man i adore greatly in my life is Aamir Khan.

I had dreamt of making my christmas delightful by viewing a master piece of camaroon called Avatar. I went to book ticket but unfortunately i got ticket only for 28th december. i just kept quite and was trying to wrap up myself from the depressions i had suffered a few months back. its detailsl are already present in my previous blog. Suddenly a miracle happened on 25th december 2009.

One of the friend who come to learn editing at our place had come on 25th december to practice and in between discussions she suddenly told that she carries four tickets of 3 idiots and their family members are not coming. When she asked us to accompany her i immediately told ok. After an hour's discussion the three members that are going to watch this movie in our 11 member family were chosen and it was me, my wife and my second son along with the third who needs no ticket. Deciding this factor I somehow managed my elder son to stay back by offering a bribe of one leather ball. Later we three along with our friend rushed to Fun cinemas. after an hour of roaming around in the complex we went and sat into the theatre at 8-30. immediately we were taken into a totally new world.

3 idiots was not just an entertainer. It was really an eye opener. I was sitting with my son who is 8 years old and there was a scene were all the boys zipped out their pants showed their asses and even their underwear was removed and stamped. My son was so thrilled that even now when someone comes he zipps out his pants and shakes his ass. Normally this may be felt as a vulgar act but once you watch this in Rajkumar Hirani film you never feel that it is vulgar but it is a kind of respect or gesture you show it to your closest friend.

Then comes a scene where there is a speech in which all the words chamatkaar or spelled as balatkaar and staan is spelled as stan meaning booms in hindi. Though it uses the most vulgar language i was able to laugh at it whole heartedly with a girl, my son and with my wife. We never ever felt that it is vulgar. My son keeps telling the word balatkaar and stan and still we does not get embrassed but actually enjoy it.

This is the power of the director of this film. His actions in the films are so spontaneous that you are never embrassed or feel any vulgarity.

My wife wanted to go to art of living. She was telling me let us attend a few classes there to come out of the dilemma we faced about a few months back. But i can tell there is no better motivational programme than 3 idiots. The messages are onliners coming out from the mouth of a great actor but it creates an everlasting impression in your heart.

Actually while going to the fourth floor of the sigma mall, in escalator suddenly my one year son climbed it and in the urgency to catch him , my leg had a deep cut and i was bleeding when i reached the theatre complex. But after i entered into the theatre as the movie started i forgot totally that i had a wound. I think for doctors to conduct an operation, they need not administer anasthesia, they can just ask patients to watch this film and carry out any operation, and i swear the patient will never experience any pain.

My son use to always ask me how he was born, He use to question me how a child is born. again i could explain it very clearly without any embrassment with this film. in the first scene you have thousands of sperms attacking an oval and i could explain it to my son. then you have a complete well shot child delivery in climax and now my son loves the vacuum cleaner in our house and says he came out to the earth by a vacuum cleaner.

I have the experience of catching the newly born baby for the first time as i was the one who first took my brother son anantha into the arms when he was born. When i saw aamir khan hold the newly born in his child, his hands were shaking and i could experience the kind of great feeling that it creates along with a sense of fear and that one expression of aamir clearly shows how perfectionist he is in his act.

The tag line of the film. ALL iz well, and the song , jab life mein koi problem, hotonko karo gol seeti bajao aur bolo all iz well, a message that is given by every motivator and personality development programmes is so effectively shown in this film that hearing this five minutes song, you have such a beautiful message reaching your heart.

Watching this film i was totally transformed. after watching the film i drove all the way beyond HAL to drop the girl, and then during the one hour long ride, i saw how much transform it brought in my wife. She agreed on most of my points and told me that she will always adhere to the principle of All iz well in life.

Really again one more film has influenced my life. It has brought a new zeal in me and more than that it has made me and my wife and my family more bonded than ever. my full family will again watch this movie after watching avatar.

Thank you Rajkumar Hirani, Thank you Aamir, i dont know how many people have liked your movie or not but by my heart i say that 3 idiots has really made an impact on my life and has sharpened my vision about my life. View the film by heart and i bet it will really make a difference in every man's life.

Sweet Journey from Windows 3.1 to Windows 7

Now i am updating all my system OS to Windows 7. As i was updating my systems i recalled my journey on computer starting from the first Windows 3.1 to Windows 7. It was really a very sweet memory to remember.

I made my debut to the industry of computer in the year 1993. At that time DOS was just replaced with Windows 3.1 When i made my debut it was Windows 3.1 32 Bit. Actually the first Computer i purchased paying 1.5 lakhs was a new 32 bit system. The program Manager where we stored all the shortcuts to application was the main user interface we had at that time. For Networking There was Windows NT which at that time was abbreviated as Windows Never Trust.

As my applications were more related to Graphics and Multimedia, then we made a shift from Windows to MAC. When i first purchased my MAC I was 24 years old. I was a Photographer and Videographer. My main business was to take videos of wedding and birthday parties. After shooting i wanted those videos to be edited and for that application i thought of using a computer.

I still remember the way i used to install my softwares at that time. It was on a mere 1.4 Mb Floppy. I had to use atleast 12 to 14 floppies to install one software. I used to get a box of Floppies for Rupees 300 meaning to store 14 Mb of data i used to spend Rupees 300-00. My machine had a 1.2 Gb hard disk and i purchased a 8GB Seagate Baracuda SCSI paying Rs. 8,800-00. when i had 8GB storage everybody use to envy me for the huge storage i had got.

I can relate my experience with MAC and Windows 3.1 to my teenage days. I had lot of spirit and enthusiasm. I was ready to do anything to come up in life. Like the floppies and Hard disks i had too little opportunities and still i kept trying with great vigor and spirit.

Later came Windows 95. It was a revolution at that time. when i first installed windows 95 and got to see the start menu at the bottom for the first time in life it thrilled us. Windows 95 made me switch back from MAC to Windows.

I can relate my experience with Windows 95 to my start of new life. Just like Windows 95 changed the face of computing world, the same period also changed the face of my world. It was this period that i got married. in 1997 when i was thriving to use Windows 95 and was just giving a try to the super flop OS windows 97 i got married.

My son was born to bring stability in my life and similarly windows 98 was launched to bring stability in windows. It was this time that i started using Internet. I had gone to the VSNL office in Millers Road and i remember i stood in a queue for one hour, paid 2,500 rupees and got 100 hour internet usage package. I was really thrilled. My phone use to cost me Rs. 1-20 for every 3 minutes of internet usage and i use to get telephone bill alone around Rupees 2,500-00 at that time per month.

As my son grew and i started enjoying family responsibilities i had windows 2000 out in the market. It was again one of the most stable system. I had both Windows 2000 and Windows 2000 server and during this period i enjoyed the experience of networking. I created domain and had around 8 computers running on my domain. I made a debut to software development at that time for a very short span using visual studio 6.

My second son was born and my business changed from wedding and video to Multimedia graphics and internet applications. I started handling corporate clients and i think Windows 2000 was one OS which i used for the longest duration in my life ie for about 4 years.

Later with Windows XP i started experiencing life with a new meaning. Like Windows XP i also became youthful and colourful. However my life suffered a severe crash in the year 2000 and then recovered with a fully newly formated system. i started the new system with windows 2000 and later switched on to XP and it was really a very colourful period in my life.

Then came Windows Vista. It made me a real professional and now i got the confidence to take up any job and was at my peak during this period. Next to Windows 2000 the OS that i used for the maximum period was vista. thought i had minor hiccups vista kept me going and my systems were most stable during this period.

Now again in the year 2009 My life system crashced severely. every data enthusiasm and spirit was lost with it. Later when i decided to move towards the path of recovery i am starting it with Windows 7.

Transition from vista to Windows 7 was the most easiest transition among the OS and i also hope that my life system transmission will also be the same. Windows 7 is the first windows OS that is getting released without its founder boss bill gates. Somewhat i find it to be more stable and more compatible to my applications. I only hope that the new life system that i am adopting with this OS is also equally compatible and stable.

With every version my life phase has changed. Everytime i equate my life line with Windows versions and also with Adobe Photoshop versions. As these versions keep changing and as it keeps improving i wish to see same kind of improvements in me. It also helps me to fight saturation in work.

Now with Windows 7 and Photoshop CS4 version i have a new spirit which is just glowing out very slowly. Like the two version has a very good support as it is packaged with numerous add-ons my life is also supported well mainly with my wife my brother and my parents. I hope that before the next crash i will have to raise above the expectations of my sweet children.

Experience of being a Wictim of Gossiping

Man is a social animal. He loves to interact with people and make new friends. There are only about 1% of people in this world who are like columbus. They enjoy exploring non living things like New Lands. The other category of other 4% of people who enjoy exploring New things and we call them scientists. There explorations helps the entire mankind.

There are another around 2% people who explore living creatures and we call them biologist, botonist doctors etc. Again they are meant to serve the mankind

Bur the remaining 93% people in this universe love to explore Humans and their emotions. Everyone wants to know something new about the other. The greatest psychology observed here is that all humans wish to hear more about people who are doing bad rather than the people who are doing good. When an appreciated job is done people speak about them and appreciate for about 10% time and in the remaining 90% they love to discuss about the person or people who have done bad. The reason behind this is when we are speaking about a good deed of a person he appears to be better than us and that hurts our ego at some point. However when we speak about something which involves some bad deeds of a person that makes us feel that we are better than him. This factor makes us happy. And to keep us happy we discuss more and more about the bad deeds.

The point here is, when we start a discussion about a person who appears to be taking some steps or in the process of taking some step, we first start it at a lower tone. But once we feel happy that we are better than him, we tend to multiply that happiness level by simply imagining things that he might do in the process of that step. These imaginations over a period of time looses its control and he might do, he might do he might do, slowly gets exaggerated as He did , He did, He did and this is what we term as gossiping.

Film actors and actresses are paid heftily and are provided the best facilities by this society and the purpose they have to serve the society is that they should provide the society enough stuff for them to gossip, enjoy and feel happy. Most magazines, media earn their TRPs just by gossiping and it is a part and parcel of life.

However when the same gossiping transfers from the society of film actors and actresses to our own living society it starts creating huge disasters. While talking about a person we never intend to understand that the 0.1% of happiness we earn by gossiping about that person will actually be harming that particular person 99.9%. To get a 0.1% pleasure we destroy 99.9% of reputation or happiness of the other person. This alarming proportion of loss clearly shows us that Gossping is a very very bad part of human society.

I was a great victim of human gossiping. I sincerely agree that i am also a part of gossipers and in the event of discussions with people i have gossiped a lot about others. I never felt anything harmful in that until i myself fell the victim of Gossiping.

My entire thinking, My transparency in my deeds, my confidence level about myself, my relationship with my wife everything went haywire for a few days and it took a very very long time to regain all those things. I would have encountered a greater pain and sufferings if our family was a small family. But fortunately i have a big family, My parents, my brother and especially the five children and my sweet sister and their full family helped me come out of this great pain faster.

The subject of Gossiping also plays a major role. Even before there were many gossips about us. We took it as a joke and enjoyed it with others. It was just a good time pass. But the gossiping which involves a relationship with a women provides the maximum level of satisfaction and happiness for the gossipers and the highest level of damage to the victim. This kind of gossiping was the factor which affected me severely.

It all started with the matter which I had discussed in my previous blog dating a daughter. Accidentally in my life I had someone who entered my life through orkut. For me she was just a friend like the other 130 and odd i have in my orkut account. Whenever in social network site if someone scraps me i reply back. Similarly in sms if someone sms me i reply back. All conversations starts from me in this manner and i myself never force to converse with anyone until there is absolute necessity, On a birthday, on some achievement i myself scrap or ping them. Or otherwise i keep acting like a reactor to people around me.

The process of my reaction to a call from a girl on orkut, went on to the level of developing a very strong bond with her. When someone says positive things we appreciate their achievements and forget it. But when someone says negative things like i am in trouble, I am feeling useless, my confidence level is low, etc, immediately as a human our first thought will be can I be of some use to them. This thought will splash up 500% faster if the person asking it is from the opposite sex. The same way my thought popped up and since she was from my field i asked her to work on some of our projects.

She slowly showed lot of interest in my animations and graphic jobs and told she would come and work in our place. My entire family agreed and as an employee she started learning as well as working on our ongoing projects. Only thing was since she was alone here in a PG we use to take her to all our family functions and kept her in contact with all our relations.

I really appreciate my sathvick family members ie my father brother sisters, and also my mother family members of sosale who sincerely accepted her and treated her with right respect. But the problem started with my wife side relations. I had the greatest respect and affection towards their entire family. They also behaved in front of me to be very affectionate towards me. So as usual with a good gesture i introduced this girl to them just like they know the others who work with me.

Later the turn of events really shocked me. I felt like that the entire earth below my feet blew open. First i saw small changes in their behaviours. In front of me they remained very affectionate but in my absence my wife started receiving phone calls. They called her and started asking where that girl is staying, how much time she will stay here, at the time of work where i will sit and where the girl sits, and the frequency of these enquiries gradually kept increasing.

Later I became the topic of discussion among all there family discussion matters. Whenever they gathered they use to gather they started enjoying this subject. This gossiping slowly started entertaining them. Actually from my wife side, two of her sister children were very close to me and always use to come and go to my house. They caught hold of them and started asking what is my behaviour with that girl. At the beginning they told about my real intentions and when the level of pressure to break open any one reason for them to doubt, they in a funny gesture told something and that was the thing they were waiting for. When I went to my wife sister house I was suddenly attacked in a gesture like I am having an affair. I was shocked. I was broken.

Actually the amount of risk here involved was very high for that girl. She was innocent. She had come with a trust to make a career. I felt this gossiping will result in huge disaster. I had taken her on a project which was for a duration of two months. But without thinking a moment i asked her to leave back to her place immediately to be frank this sudden decision made me change the entire contract I had signed with a company. It was going to cost me atleast 300 dollars to make a new bid and retake the project in an another name. Even then i decided to forbid this loss and sent that girl away from my life for ever.

Actually I always feel a lot of pain when I have someone who enter my life goes away for ever. I always want to maintain an everlasting relationships with people and not a stop gap time pass relationships. But here i failed. This failure will have an everlasting impact on my life. I really felt like I had a daughter of age 22 who suddenly died in some accident. My values, My respect to relationships everything got totally shaken. I was totally broken and fell totally down.

But I have an angel by my side and that is my wife Pankaja. She understood my feelings. She made an attempt to get back that girl and send her back in a good gesture so that the relationship in their family heart remains for ever. Her efforts turned into vain and in turn she got humiliated by the family members of that girl. They took Pankaja left and right and Pankaja had to bear such a big humiliation quitely.

So we both suffered. When I suffer, I will not be happy, When I am not happy, My brother cannot be happy, He has to hide it. When we both are not happy my parents turn worried. Children loose the good loving environment in which they are supposed to grow. A family of 11 members had their happy feelings hidden and buried for a few weeks.

However I have a great father. My sister and her husband, and above all i reside in an area which knows and respects my family so much. They all allowed us to bounce back and today we are back to normal and are having back our lost glory.

I always remember another one unknown person who first came as a trouble maker and later left making a long lasting impact. That person was Prashanth Mathole. When this girl came he sent mails. I first thought he is a trouble maker. But he was someone sent by god who warned about situations that may lead if I give more importance to that girl than my family. Actually at one point I thought of having that girl in my project and in my life as my god sent daughter through out my life. A thought came, when I am good by my heart, when I have not done any mistake, why should I fear the gossip makers. But Prashanth Mathole had warned me about the implications it will have when the gossips started by my wife side relatives reaches the girl side relatives. What if such gossips reaches the families of alliances for which the parents of that girl are trying for. Then instead of helping that girl i would totally ruin that girl career. So I decided to give up this girl forever from my life. For this one reason I sincerely thank this unknown person Prashanth Mathole

At the end everything ended with a good deed. Who ever reads this blog I want to make them clear that let them think a thousand time before they gossip about human relationships. It might be a five minute entertainment for them but it will create an unrepairable impact on the people on whom they are gossiping.

Jaanu Ajji - A Great Soul Lost Forever

11th July 2009 Night 11-30 PM. A Phone call brought an end to a four year suffering. It said that after suffering for about 4 - 5 years by bed souring, My Grand Mother ie My Mother's mother Janaki alias Jaanu had expired. The news of death brought smiles on all the members of our family as it gave a much longed relief both to the ailing Jaanu and also for the family that was looking after her. Death was welcomed with a smile.

Next day Morning Myself with my brother and parents rushed to Mysore. The complete Sosale famly to which my mother belonged assembled before 10 AM. From 11 AM the ceremony started and by Three it ended with setting fire to the pyre of my grand mother. Greatly relieved we all walked back home had a bath, and then our lunch.

Through out the ceremony, we cracked jokes, spoke openly and had a great time. There were more smiles on people faces than the tears. The reason was the suffering my Grand mother had undergone. A severe trauma from five years. she had been physically dead long before with just hart beat functioning. After a long suffering she had finally seen the Moksha and this had converted her death into a kind of happy moment for the entire family

Later after finishing the ceremony we left from Mysore back to Bangalore in the 5 PM Bus. During the travel time, i just recalled my association with great soul Jaanamma.

Janaki Bai was the fourth daughter to their parents out of the seven. She was the most beautiful in their whole family. She was the most charming girl of the entire T-Narsipur Town where she was born.

Most women agree with one fact that being too beautiful is not a boon but actually a curse. It creates a fear in the minds of parents when other appreciate their daughter, It increases possesiveness of the husband towards the wife and all these creates a huge mental torture in the minds of an orthodox good looking girl. My grand mother has suffered from it. The treasure of too much beauty was taken up as a huge burden by their parents and they wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.

So in a sense of urgency, she was given to My Grand Father Venkatanarasimhachar, A powerful member of Sosale Vyasaraja Mutt at that time. My Grand Mother was his second wife (Some say it was third). After marriage, beauty turned my grand mother into a beast. She had six children. The first four were girls. As it is in our Orthodox Shastra a man does not get entry into heaven until he has a son. This forced my grand mother to go through six deliveries. After four girls two male children were born.

It was a sigh of relief for my grand mother. She thought at last she had fulfilled her husband wish to go to heaven. But unfortunately it happened very early. Still the children were kids, and my Grand father passed away leaving six children in the hands of a women whose life had thought her nothing except delivering a child.

The days of suffering started for my grand mother. With six children that too four girls in hand she went to the door steps of every relation. My Grand father believed that If we do good to God he will take care of us. With that intention he wrote all his property to the name of Sosale Vyasaraja mutt. The mutt people very cleverly wooed him and my grand father always thought about how he can achieve moksha and never thought about how his children can live in this world. This brought the entire family to the streets and from this my grand father might have gone to moksha in the eternal world.

With the help from her mother side, and from her brothers My grand mother managed to bring up the six kids. With great difficulty she completed the wedding of her first Daughter, Saraswathi. Luckily their husband could understand the difficulty of my grand mother and he helped in bringing up the other kids. He took initiative in getting the second daughter my mother married to my father.

However good the first son-in-law may be there was a kind of guilt in my grand mother's mind. She felt she had become a burden to everyone in this world. It is said that some even wanted her to enter into sati after her husband died, but due to her brothers bold steps she survived to look after the six kids.

By nature and Circumstances made my grand mother seee the world as a pessimist. she saw only problems in every solution. She always try to find the fault in people rather than the good deeds they were doing. This created huge problems in her life. She lost support of family members at the key points of her life. In fact as a kid, i did not attend my mother's brother marriage because of rift in my grand mother and my father. The main reason behind this rift was the pessimistic attitude of my grand mother.

However she successfully got all her four daughters married to four good families. Even his son got a good job and he was married. Luckily her son Mr. Gopinath got an angel as his wife. His wife treated my Grand mother virtually as her mother. Through out my grand mother life the person who supported her for maximum period was this great lady. In her last days, when she was bed souring, it was this lady who took care of my grand mother like a small child. She wiped all her wastes like a mother does for a small child. She never grumbled and till death she stood by the side of my grand mother.

When it comes to my relatiosnhip with my grand mother it started with my birth. When I was born, My mother's complete post pregnancy care was taken care by my grand mother. The first person in this world who washed me was my grand mother. She use to give me a very caring and loving bath when i was just a few days kid.

Actually my nose was flat. So they say my grand mother everyday before bath, patiently sat for about an hour and massaged my nose and body. Today everyone says the only best part on my face is nose and the credit for this should go to this grand mother.

In my younger days i was very adamant. Whenever i was not obeying my father, i use to get proper beatings and when everyone in the house were pointing fingers at me and were scolding, one soul is to bring its hand over my head and use to say, dont worry i am with you. This soul was my Grand mother. She always loved me, To be very frank when I reached the teenage, she brought my first girl into my life. She was responsible for that girl like me and motivate me in life. She had boosted me so much in front of that girl that she always thought that i was the best person in this universe. I got a good Girl friend because of my grand mother. Even she wanted me to be married to another girl. She always use to say you are the right husband for her. By this way even in my youthful days she helped build my dreams and my love life.

She was highly practical. She believed that in this world no one does anything without any return expectations. Sometimes she used to wrongly judge the returns people would expect when someone came to help her. By this attitude she was criticized by many. But life had made her think life as give and take policy.

Through out the journey i remembered this great soul. She had lived for 102 Years. Her past five six years were miserable. But she had led a life of 90 years dedicated to the service of her children and grand children. But we forgot those 90 years and remembered just the last 6 - 7 years and always felt she is a burden to everyone. I myself had spoken with that attitude. That makes me feel how mutlabi we are in this world. I really feel greatly bad when i feel that for a women who gave my first bath, who gave my first kiss, who gave me my first love, I in return gave nothing but just a homage in front of her body after she passed away. Well I now understand that the punishment to this attitude will be mooted to me after around 30 - 40 years and at that time i should remember and take up life as a reality fact that is the exact replica of what I had done a few decades ago.

Dating a Daughter

Orkut one of the social networking site has played a very powerful role in my life. I never expected that it would make so much difference in my life. At the age of 40 it made me rethink about human relationship and also about Trust.

It all started in the year 2008. I was on orkut from 2006. I never showed any interest in it. I used it only to share my views with people who were already related to me. I never thought that orkut would bring someone so close to me in my life, that today i feel life to be somewhat empty without her.

2008 was the year I was expecting my third child. I wanted it to be a girl. I begged to every god to give me a daughter. Though everyone thinsk that my third child was accidental only me and my wife know that we purposefuly went careless and allowed to conceive a child. I had even planned to name my child as Radhe. meaning Radha bai the name of my grand mother

At the time in the middle of june, when my wife dates were near, I suddenly got a scrap by a person who had posted kolhapur Lakshmi photo in my scrap book. I was very much delighted to see the photo and it increased my confidence that i will surely have a girl baby. As i started scraping with that person i came to know that he is from an orthodox Madhwa brahmin family and belonged to the same mutt as ours. Actually he mistook that i am also very very orthodox. later he saw our activities and when he came to know that we are in animation business, he asked me to speak to her daughter who was in the final year of commercial art course. He wanted me to guide her in animation and 3D

Somewhere in June 2008 i first talked to this girl. By what her parents and relatives say she was a vey shy, fearing girl but i dont know she started talking to me very openly. I found her to be a very innocent girl with lot of talent and enthusiasm. Co-incidentaly her orkut account had the name of Radhe. Her date of birth was 4th July ( My child was born on 5th July). She was from a place which is our family god. All these factors made me develop a kind of strong bonding with her. I sent her my Training Materials on a DVD.

One fine day I received a courier with a Saree and prasadam from Kolhapur. That too on Friday. It was sent by that girl family as a token of gesture for me. I was very much delighted. At that time still my third child was not born and this boosted my confidence that i will surely have a girl baby.

Later when i was on a shoot at Mahindra World Cityin Chennai, I was inspecting crane shot and at that busy movement i received a call and when i took it i heard a sweet small girl's voice saying Uncle. Normally i would have cut the call and attended it later in that situation. but i coudldnt cut it. She politely told " Uncle nim DVD nam computer nage Play aagta illa" meaning my training DVD was not running on her machine. I told her i will come and explain it after coming to bangalore.

Later as i kept chating with her discussing about animation technologies, i was explaining her like a teacher and in fact whatever i told was already known by her. She still use to ask me and slowly one day she asked me can i send smses to you. I told Ok

She started smsing me and i can say the hindi messages she sent were the best i have ever recieved in my phone. However i saw a lot of pain in her messages. she was trying to say me something but couldnt say it.

Later she told me that she wants to use my company as the client for making her project on designing ads. I told yes. She designed very beautiful brochures, website samples, hoardings in my company name. I was astonished at ther talent.

Suddenly one day she told that they have got internet removed in their house due to some billing problems. She then asked can I come to see your studio to bangalore. I told her you are welcome. To my great surprise in november she suddenly arrived and I received her from the Yeshwanthpur Railway station.

Seeing her i never felt like she is some new girl to me. I felt like she is as close to me as achyutha anantha and my other kids. i brought her home. His father was very orthodox and hence my father arranged for his lunch in Raghavendra Swamy Mutt. Later she stayed in her house for about 4 days.

The main problem with her was she use to get very nervous to speak to anyone in our house and spoke closely only with me. This was because she had a lot of fear. She was in severe Depression. I could make it out within two days and i kept motivating her.

But the first problem started in our house. My mother mistook her closeness with me. She felt that there is some fishy. As a typical women of South Indian Brahmin family who are famous for feeling jealous on other women, she started pampering my wife. One day I took her with my children to ISKCON and by the time i was back, My wife also mistook me and i could not tolerate my wife behaviour. This was because i always believed that the person who has maximum faith in me in this world is my wife and when that got shattered i lost my mental balance. I dont know what happened, I consumed the cracker remains lead and fell ill. I was so severely affected by it that it took me two months to recover from it.

Later she left my place, but still she was in touch with me. She used to call me at every stage of her life. like when she attended an interview in pune, when she was preparing for her exams, like this she showed an immense trust in me. She believed that I am her best well wisher in this world. I was astonished at her trust on me.

Later in the month of may, after her exams she came back again into my life. This time she travelled alone with her relative and came to my house. She came to our house at a time when I was in immense tense as one of my army project had goen hayware and had got totally struck up. When she came i brought her home and just showed her the army project. she picked it up in few hours and started working on it.

However in our house i again had the same old problem. Fear between me and the girl relationship. Again i went totally upset when i smelt some kind of distrust in me by my own wife and mother. I got totally upset and decided to send her back without taking her help for the project. She left with her uncle. Later the problem escalated. I had already taken money of this army project and had even spent it away bur was unable to deliver the project. It went on to prove too costly for my reputation. When I got totally upset, my wife took initiative, spoke to the project fellows and found that i was in deep trouble. I should thank my wife for taking all out initiative and saw that the girl was back to bangalore within two days from Hubli.

She then stayed in our house for one month. She very cooly completed the project which i thought was totally impossible. In this one month period I understood what her real problem was. Some shocking moments in her childhood life had made her highly depressed and she was living her entire life in fear and agony. I motivated her, I studied all articles on her case in internet and like a psychatrist i stayed with her. and slowly she came back from all her traumas. Finally she left our home and went back on 26th June 2009.

After she left suddenly my entire life turned blank. I couldnt come back to my work. I just thought what is happeining to me. Then i realised, It is my God's gift to fulfil my wish. I loved to bring up a daughter and I always wanted a girl baby. I was totally disappointed that I couldnt get it. but still i kept wishing i will have a daughter. Inspired by the film secret, i kept wishing. And my wish was answered. I had a daughter readymade sent directly to my house. Her closeness with my children was in no way less than a real sister for them. I enjoyed all the emotions a father would feel when he deals with his daughter.

Now i sat down and analysed how could a strong person like me fall prey to such strong emotional bondage. I found that the fact behind this is trust. Our affection and our love to any person is directly proportional to the amount of faith they show on us. Greater the faith stronger will be our love. I learnt this great lesson from this episode that Trusting people makes us win there love. There might be some people who may misuse our trust but just because we have accidents we cannot stop driving. similarly fearing mistrust we cannot stop trusting people

To be very frank i now feel that my love towards this girl is overtaking my love towards my wife. The only way i can avoid this to happen is by making my wife trust me more. The more she trusts me the more will be my love towards her.

Luckily I have a great wife. She believes me. Though sometimes she gets carried away by other people sayings she very quickly comes back and holds on to her trust on me. Relationships stands on trust. It is not built by to whom you are born or in which part of the world you are born. If you win the trust of a person you will automatically start loving him.

Orkut thought me this great lesson. My life aim is to see that i does not lose the trust of that girl. Whatever people may say, my heart knows that how i see that simple rural girl. I sometimes ask god "Please make her distrust me so that i can forget her" I even tried to act or scold her to make her distrust me. But she is not at all shaken. She trusts me by heart. and until she keeps trusting me as her father i cannot stop loving her as my daughter.

The love of Daughter or Son does not come just by birth. It is dependent on how much they trust us. When my third son, starts crying loudly when someone takes away from my home, He strongly holds my fingers and his grip shows the trust he has in me and that makes me love him.

Now i Understand, Life stands on just two simple principles. The first Principle Show immense Trust in peopel around you that makes them love you. and the second the most Important keep up to the trust of the people who have it on you.

If these two principles are followed then i think we need not die and go to heaven and we can have it very much in our real life.

Google means God . . .

What is God ? Well i think everyone will agree that God is one system of faith, which we think is going to provide answers to all our querries and problems in life. We all firmly believe that God means truth, the real truth which has no chance of any manipulations in its system.

I still remember in my younger days, when we had to decide about any important decisions in life, my mother used to write down the decisions in paper, put it in front of god, and after a pooja, we used to get it picked by a child and follow that result with no second opinion.  We believed that if this is coming from god, then it should be right.

Today when we face the same situation, we now have a new god to answer our querries. It may be about buying a car or starting a new business, we now decide by placing our querry in front of a new god. This god we use is google. very simple, today, we just go to google, type in our new venture and see the results, say I want to buy a car swift, type car name swift followed by review, read it and then decide that yes this is really worth to buy. We have so much faith in this system that we never again go for a second opinion. If google provides a answer to our querry, then we firmly believe that it should be really really right.  Now can we not call google to be a God.

The greatest asset that google company has won from its customer today i think is faith. People believe in google. They think that google is truth. Even while choosing email accounts the first and most safest mailing system people feel is google mail or gmail. We always see that anything that is ranked number one by google in their search querry, then they should be the number one. Till today, this faith has never failed except in a few very very rare cases.

Take for example. Once when I had been to Mahindra World city in chennai, we found a few apartments there very beautiful and to have a reference I took the photograph of an apartment from outside. The man immediately rushed out and shouted at me saying that I have no right to take his house picture. Later on he did not leave me till i deleted it. But I came back home, launched Google earth and when I browsed to the same mahindra world city, I could see that apartment very clearly with complete view of its ambience. Then I felt very strange. A known man in front of your eyes takes a picture of your house and we grumble. But we have an unknown system sitting somewhere in space, it takes the images of our houses and provides it to everyone and in this case we will feel very proud to see that our location is on google earth. This is what i call faith. We believe Google is something which is the safest. No one can deny this fact that today, people may doubt about God, or his religious faith, but he will never doubt google.

But for how many days, google can handle this immense faith people have in it. I sometimes fear what happens if larry page, turns out to be someone like Ramalinga Raju. Everyone telugu speaking man in this world felt that if one man can make them proud in this world, that would be ramalinga raju. They showed immense faith in him. Even he was very good. But somewhere at sometime down the line, Greed and bad thoughts made its way into Raju and today he has made every teluguite feel ashamed. Now how can we say that the same thoughts may not hit google rulers. What happens if Google owners or its promoters do some grave mistake and lead to the death or closure of this gigantic company ? 

We are so much dependent on this one system called google that we never know the catastophe we may have to face, if something happens to it. Recently Google mail stopped working for just 15 minutes and created a huge panic all over the globe. In my business, If I dont have food, i can live a day, If I dont have water I can live without bath, We even lived without toilets for two days when our house was under renovation. But if we dont have internet one day, then we are finished. and the only thing that affects without internet is that we cant use google. Whenever my son asks me any difficult question, I say him very confidently that I will get him answer in ten minutes. I just sit on my system, google the question and get him the answer. I have so  much faith that not even in the remote corner of my mind, i will have a doubt that whether i will get the anser. So much is our faith in google. 

Now comes the greatest fear of my life. What happens if google collapses. Just like Lehman Brothers, Bank of America or like Madoff, if google gets shut down, then our lives will not be the same anymore. We have to very seriously think about it. Sometimes we feel Google has become so much integral part of society that it is no more a business establhishment but a Consotorium meant to serve people. like we world wide web consotorium Google should be converted from a corporate business house to a consotorium.  It can no more be controlled by a bunch of share holders but it has to be controlled by a Government or a Non profit organizaion with social relevance.

Take the example of God. The famous Tirumala temple in Andhra Pradesh was actuallly belonging to a particular Iyengar community who were running it as their own property. But as Lord Venkateshware became famous, his popularity grew leap and bounds and when millions started to visit this temple then everyone felt its not safe to live this temple in the hands of a small family or community. What happens if there is a fight inside this family, they file a case, and temporarily close down venkateshwara temple for a few days, It creates panic in human faith. Knowing this very well, The government took over this temple and has appointed a non profit organization called TTD to run this temple

Now I feel even in case of Google this must happen. The problem with google is it has no nationality, It has no religion, It has no social boundaries. Hence it is very very difficult to govern it. The only solution is to turn it into a consotorium like World wide web or IEEE. This has to be done fast. Or otherwise one day we might face the worst ever attack on our faith. 

The Dilemma of whether God is there to serve Mankind or Man is there to serve God

God and Religion. Being from an orthodox Hindu Brahmin family and son of a Temple Trustee and religious man, I was very religious and God fearing in my younger days till recently when I changed. The reason for my change I feel is an internal enlightenment while my mother feels is because I have become more materialistic. Well to understand it I recently went through a very beautiful story.

A small child was standing and playing near its house gate and soon the child saw a beautiful puppy on the street. The child liked the puppy very much. It called the puppy, and the puppy seeing the child tried to run towards her. unfortunately at that time a fast moving bike hit the puppy on the road, and the puppy was severely injured. The child immediately started crying very loudly. It couldn't bear the puppy's loss. There parents rushed and tried to convince her but it was in vain. The dog stopped breathing and everyone felt it is dead. But they couldn't express it to the child as it was very much in love with the puppy. The intelligent father came out with an idea. 

He called the child and told, "My dear daughter, The puppy was seen by god and he also loved it very much. that is the reason why the puppy died and reached the god. But now let us send it near god with full respect. let us arrange a very grand funeral for the puppy. Let us make a beautiful coffin box, then fix it over a wheel, tie it to our car and let us take it in procession and bury it in the nearby graveyard. "

Saying so the father asked the daughter to make one beautiful coffin. The daughter's attention turned from the puppy towards making the coffin. she brought cardboards, color papers, flowers and with full passion she built a beautiful coffin. Father told the child that let us take the procession by afternoon 3 0 click and the child was eagerly waiting for three to carry out the procession.

During that time a miracle happened. The puppy which was assumed to be dead, slowly started to breathe and painfully opened its eyes. seeing it the father was very happy. He called his daughter and told " Look my child God heard your prayers and now he has sent it back for you. It is turning out to be alive, let us treat it and save it"

The Daughter then asked the father "papa then what about my beautiful coffin, i prepared it with so much interest ?" Father told "let us throw it away now as the dog is alive " The child got angry and told " No no dad, i have taken so much time in making the coffin, so let us kill the dog and take it for procession"

hearing these words the father was shocked. He felt very bad. He understood that in his attempt to convince her daughter he had drawn her concentration from caretaking and loving attitude to the passion of building a coffin. In the process the child had lost her love for the dog and started loving the coffin she had built. 

It is the same experience that I felt with religion and God. I think Religions and culture were born to serve the mankind.  It acted as a catalyst to boost the people who are in trouble. The main purpose of the religion was to convince the crying babies and motivate to do something to overcome the pains and miseries in life.

But over a period of time, Religion was no more meant to serve people but a wrong conception that people are meant to serve for religion came up. Like the coffin built by the child, a very strong and passionate religion and culture were built whose purpose was that it should survive no matter even it means taking the life of the dog. This type of experiences in life really changed me a lot. I always loved to eat in my Mom's plate but after my upanayanam I was asked to never even touch anything that is smelt by my mother. My brother and me use to share food and chats in the same plate but our upanayanam created a difference in us that we should not touch one's plate with another. However we did not obey those laws. Till recently when water is served during dinner, if achyutha my son drinks water in one tumbler then my othe son and my brother's son without any hezitation use to drink it in same tumbler. But after Upanayanam when we told them not to drink in other's tumbler we see war and fights on the dinner table between our children just because unknowingly one has drank in the tumbler meant for the other. 

My too much religioustic and orthodox creates differences between humans. This was my experience in life. On an Ekadashi day, if any of my friend offers me a sweet with great love, I cannot outrightly reject it. I feel by doing so I am insulting his affection towards me. I personally feel our determination to stand by my religion has to shown in my actions and attitudes and not in merely the food I eat and the dress I wear. By Experience I have seen that starving on Ekadashi, or avoiding onion or not taking food in night are the principles which are very easy to follow. It's very easy for me to change my dress to a white dhoti and shalya and go to my temple but its very difficult for me to go to temple changing my temperment when I am angry. 

Hence I personally feel for me religion means showing my sincere respect to my ancestors and my great grandfathers in whom generation I am lucky to be born. Rejecting something which my father has brought for me from hotel saying that I dont eat on monday's Is a greater insult I do to my religion. It is an immense level of selfishness. Just to fulfil my commitments I am hurting someone else feelings.

These things changed me a Lot. If required I can fast full day. I can stay without onion for months together I have no problem. But to keep up my religious diet, If I refuse to eat food offered by someone with love then I feel it is a shame to my religion. Hence I have now turned myself as a Nastik for outside world but internally I feel that I am a better Astika than before. Luckily My wife understands that and also my family. Hence I have no problem with the world even if they call me a Nastik